I was going to weave all of these quotes into a nifty story, but can't seem to pull it off. Instead of stalling, I decided to just list the quotes and the situation. Hope you can use them, as appropriate.
Del overheard the conversation between a rider and his support crew. The rider rolled up to his support crew at the last full aid station of the Leadville 100 Mountain Bike Race, at roughly mile 75, with another 28 miles left to travel. The support crew eagerly greeted him and asked, "What can we do for you, what do you need?" They were thinking clothing, fluids and fuel...
He replied, "Get me a surgeon. I need to have this anchor surgically removed from my a$$."
I think I've done too much sub-aerobic training: This was Todd Singiser's comment at a stopping point on a group ride. People were sharing reasons why they were suffering or performing sub-par that day and this was Todd's reason. I expanded his comment into a blog found here.
I had a core strength bonk: During the same discussion that brought sub-aerobic training to the forefront, rider Bill Frielingsdorf shared the cause of his demise during a mountain bike race. He said the race was going well until his back and core locked up. The pain was so intense, it ruined his race finish.
Not "my" choice, but let me know how that works out for you: This one came from ultra-distance mountain biker, Scott Ellis. People were obsessively worrying about equipment choices before a mountain bike race. When asked his opinion about some quirky lastest-and-greatest piece of equipment meant to place riders on the podium, his comment was the one listed. He knew they should be obsessing about fitness rather than equipment.
Don't bring a knife to a gunfight: Wise words from Steve Douglas about mid-ride on a day when he decided to ride his heavy, winter training bike and most everyone else was riding carbon velos. Ouch.
The Land of Bubba: This phrase is given to any cycling location where the inhabitants and drivers haze or are otherwise rude to cyclists. Often, the characters are stereotypical beat-up pickup truck drivers that "Don't like them thare lycra-wearin' sissies." The first time I heard the phrase was after cyclist Steve Kwiatkowski was hit from the rear by a pickup pulling a boat trailer (yes loaded with a boat). The pickup cleared him, but the wheels of the boat trailer hit the rear wheel of his bike, launching him into a grassy area. Luckily Steve received only minor injuries. He commented he tries to avoid riding in The Land of Bubba whenever possible. (Incident was more than a year ago in South Carolina. I think The Land of Bubba exists just west of my town, per my road incident a couple of weeks ago.)
Your lips are writing checks your body can't cash: A version of the quote was made famous in the movie Top Gun. While I was visiting the Active offices, seems some race wagers were being made. Well, not wagers so much as...smack talk. Jesse Hammond used this line on fellow coworker Luke Smith.
I'm leaving now to go find myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait: I received this quote through my husband Del, who got it from his friend Bob Loven. It came at the perfect time for me, as I felt I was spinning out of control with things "to do". I couldn't keep track of myself, much less anyone or anything else.
I would have been there, but the bed vines were just too strong: This one comes from Chad Brent. It was his excuse for not showing up to an early morning swim session.
Barn sour: This one comes from my horse riding days. Sometimes barn sour horses are found at public riding stables. Horses that are barn sour, leave the barn plodding along like they have zero energy. You wonder if they are ill or injured they are going so slow at such a taxing effort. It is an effort to get them to leave the barn. At the turn around point of the ride, on the way back to the barn, these barn sour ponies fight the bit trying to race back to the barn. The worst ones are near impossible to control, bolting for the barn. Some bike riders are indeed barn sour. Barn sourism can be thinly veiled as a negative-split ride, but don't be fooled.
Whatever suits me, is alright with you guys: This must be said in a nonchalant, cheerful, cooperative voice. The first time I heard it was when we were trying to decide which ride route to do. When asked his opinion of where to ride, Ed Shaw cheerfully made the noted comment. It took a few seconds for the words to process in my brain, the brain expecting, "Whatever you want to do suits me fine." To pull it off successfully requires the right delivery.
A handy piece of clothing, the Greek pastry: My friend Cathy and I always snickered when people showed up to a cold run or ride commenting about the need to wear their baklava. Over time, the balaclava garment became known as "needing to wear your Greek pastry."
As I collect more, I'll make a Part II...