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Sandman or Smacktalker?

Posted by Gale Bernhardt Feb 21, 2008

 

You know at least one Sandman and at least one Smacktalker, I'm certain. They exist in all groups, athletic and non-athletic.

 

 

Sandman

 

 

A sandman is the same as a sandbagger. If you want to be politically correct, you can say sandperson. I have to say, it just doesn't have the same ring though. When I write sandman, I'm referring to an athlete of either gender.

 

 

A sandman downplays the training they've been doing and their athletic ability...that is until it's time to perform. Then, look out.

 

 

Some common sandman sentences:

 

 

Gee, I haven't done _a thing _for weeks. No workouts at all. I hope I don't hold you back. If fall behind,  don't wait for me.

 

 

My longest ride has been an hour. I hope I can survive this three-hour ride. Don't wait for me though, I'll be okay.

 

 

I haven't been training at all. Too much work, my fitness is terrible.

 

 

After the sandman has sandbagged a conversation, the proof is in the performance. The sandman kicks butt.

 

 

If you were to put a spy camera on a sandman, he or she can be found training much more frequently and longer than they have admitted to in public. Perhaps they are even "secretly" training.

 

 

Not to be confused with a sandman is a subaerobic person. More information on a SAP can be found here.

 

 

Smacktalker

 

 

The smacktalker is at the other end of the spectrum and comes in two varieties. In either variety, the smacktalker looks you up and down, sizing you up. With a surfer-stink-eye appetizer, the sandman follows with a full course of how he or she is going to outperform you. Yes, kick your a$$.

 

 

Common Smacktalker sentences:

 

 

Gained a little weight, have you? If you were XX  pounds lighter, you might be able to climb (or run) faster. Good luck today.

 

 

I can beat you with both hands tied behind my back.

 

 

I push more wattage on my easy days than you do on your best days.

 

 

Put your money where your mouth is, let's bet who will be first to climb that hill.

 

 

Now, the smacktalker comes in two flavors, smoked and extra spicy. The smoke-flavored smacktalker is all smoke and no fire. They can talk a big game, but cannot deliver the goods in terms of performance.

 

 

The extra spicy smacktalker can deliver an outstanding performance and is more that willing to tell you about it before it occurs. Ouch.

 

 

What has your sandman or smacktalker said to get attention? (Please, leave out the person's name or just use their initials.) You can tell us about their athletic or office line(s).

 

 

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