I have an abnormal phobia of snakes. It is bad. In college I was a physiology/neurobiology and psychology double major and as such I took a lot of biology and genetics classes. Textbooks  for these subject love to show snakes (shudder) doing snake things... eating antelopes, possessing genes that make them a certain pattern (calico cats also have genes that make them a special pattern... show pictures of kitties for crying out loud!). I am so terrified of snakes I had to have my college roommate go through my textbooks, find any pictures of snakes, and cover them with post-it notes because otherwise I couldn't read my books. I can't look at pictures, I can't see them on TV, I can't even stop to think about what would actually happen if I saw one. I told you when we started.... big fear of snakes.  

When I'm not running or with my nose in a de-snaked textbook, I'm in training to be a therapist. I see a handful of clients and I'm supervised by a licensed psychologist. Just so happens my supervisor, Larry, is amazing. For any of my psychologist readers, he was trained by the founder of cognitive-behavioral psychology, Aaron T. Beck, and he was one of the therapists on the TDCRP. As most of the clients in our clinic have anxiety, Larry often talks about the saber-tooth tiger in the room. The short version of how this works is people with anxiety get aroused for any number of reasons (caffeine, overactive adrenal gland, whatever). Because arousal is a component of the adaptive fight or flight response people start looking for what could be causing this response... where is the saber tooth tiger in the room? Is it under the table? Behind the couch? The problem is, there isn't a saber-tooth tiger, so people with anxiety attribute it to something else and to something non-adaptive. My job as a psychologist is to get people to shift their thinking so that they can acknowledge that they can calm down because there's no tiger in the room that's going to attack. 

So tying this back to running...  Yesterday I was on the treadmill and running at a pretty good clip. Heart rate was up, breathing was up, adrenaline was flowing. I like to watch action-type stuff on TV when I run because it matches my physiological state. While watching SpikeTV a commercial pops on with the mother of all snakes. If I hadn't been running I would have likely fallen off of whatever I was sitting on and I cowered in tears (I know ... it's really maladaptive, I told you... bad phobia). But, I saw the snake and my physiological arousal couldn't increase anymore... heart was already pumping, adrenaline was at its max... it was a fight or flight ceiling effect. As a cognitive psychologist I thought, "Huh... that should scare me." But I wasn't having any sort of physiological response because I was already maxxed out. It was such an awesome lesson for me. I know the next time I see a snake my heart rate will still spike and I'll start to sweat and my adrenaline will go through the roof... but now I know that that's all it is. There isn't really a saber-tooth tiger (snake) that's going to get me, it's just my mis-attribution of arousal. I knew that before, but now it's a different type of knowledge. The 3-year-old knows the stove is hot because dad said so.... the 3-year-old really knows the stove is hot once they touch it.  

Running always surprises me with what it teaches me, but I never would have expected this. At least yesterday, for the first time in almost 25 years, in the battle of Kat vs. visual representation of snake, Kat came out on top. And I think yesterday helped tip the balance in my favor. Even if it didn't and I really run into a snake one day, I'll at least have the confidence that I can outrun it