Since Saturday I have been in DC for the annual meeting of the Research Society on Alcoholism (imagine a big science fair for anyone who studies anything related to alcoholism). As a doctoral student I wear a lot of hats, one of them scientific researcher, and I was at this meeting to learn, network and present some preliminary findings from my Masters (although collateral- and self-reports of smoking, drinking, and deviance are significantly concordant, adolescents are not sensitive in their reporting of their friends' problem behaviors). I had a great conference and I learned a lot, met a lot of really incredible people and saw some old friends.

Even though I did was I was "supposed" to do, one of my favorite parts of this trip was the time I spent running. I like running in Pittsburgh, but a thousand miles later my routes have gotten a little stale. I know hills are good for my training, but a break would be nice. I wasn't necessarily looking forward to running in DC because I knew I'd be so busy with the meeting, I thought I'd really just be squeezing them in when I could.

Sunday I was up at 5:30 to meet Jen, a colleague from Pittsburgh and an MCM runner from last year, and Isaac, a member of the Marine Corps Marathon community. Ike brought a friend, Dave, and we headed out for an 8-mile run along the mall, Haines Point and the tidal basin.  It was hot and humid (much more than Pittsburgh) and we were going at a pace about 30 seconds faster than I had run my 8 the week before. I'm not sure whether it was running with a group (I always run solo) or just the excitement of seeing the city early in the morning, but the run was the easiest long run I've ever had. Not only did we come in under our target pace as a group but I had enough in me to push the last bit. I can't imagine a better way to start a Sunday morning than a sunrise run in the Nation's Capital with a group of friends. We met some other MCM friends at Lincoln Diner and I had some scrambled eggs and blueberry pancakes and I was ready to start a very long day. Not only was the run great, but I really do think it set me up for a great rest of the day as well (including a student luncheon and 6 hours of meetings!).

(Tidal Basin)

Tuesday I ran 4 miles around the monuments... I hit the Washington, WWII, Korean War, Lincoln (including running up the steps), Vietnam, and then ran by the White House. I've seen all these monuments dozens of times, but I really think running them is the way to do it. See, with the monuments, once you see them, you see them. There isn't much to DO there. You can stand, look, take pictures. But then you go to the next one and see that. I basically condensed a good morning worth of sight-seeing into about 35 minutes. Awesome.

(Lincoln Memorial)

This morning I ran a 5-mile loop with Jen. We started at the Woodley Park metro and ran to the National Cathedral, down Embassy Row and then through Rock Creek Park. It was so different than seeing the big touristy spots and it was wonderful not to need to dodge a million scattered sight-seers. Instead it was a really nice tour of beautiful neighborhoods, amazing architecture and DC's famous traffic circles (I've heard the traffic circles were to protect the Capitol during a war to confuse enemy troops). It was also nice to feel like a DC-er as opposed to a tourist.

(National Cathedral)

I miss DC a lot. I love the architecture and the people. I LOVE the food! I'm sorry Pittsburgh, but just because you put fries on it (salads especially) doesn't make it cultural, and it definitely does not make it good. A lot of people think DC is stuffy and Type-A.... but I'm formal and Type-A. When Jen and I were walking out of the Metro I realized where I got my impatience for slow Pittsburghers. In DC you can't stand and be confused because otherwise you create bottlenecks and inconvenience lots of people. I've learned not to do that and it drives me CRAZY when people in Pittsburgh (read: everyone!) does that (especially in the grocery store as they stop in the middle of the aisle and wonder where, or where could the milk possibly be).

It was great to be back home and although the conference was great in itself, running was definitely the icing on the cake. It made me feel really privileged to be healthy and in-shape enough to be able to enjoy the experiences I did (sight-seeing, being with friends) as I ran around the city this week.

(Pictures taken from the web... if I wasn't supposed to use them, tell me and I'll happily take them down)

I love the water. I was born in early June and by the end of that month my mom had me in the pool. By the end of that summer I was swimming and when I was 2 1/2 I saved my brother when he fell into our 13 foot  diving well when no adults were around. Water is my thing. I've probably spent 23 of 25 summers by the pool- swimming, lifeguarding, coaching. I love the water- have I said that already?

The problem once you grow up and you don't have all day to play in the pool and you can't relax in the sun while your bathing suit dries is that swimming can be a bit of a hassle. As a professional I don't want to schlep my dress clothes, makeup, etc. so I can get ready after swimming. Well today the stars aligned and I had the most wonderful of schedules and I was able to hit one of the pools on campus for a cross-training workout.

It's been about 10 months since I last got in a pool. Today when I opened the door and my feet hit the tiles and I saw the choppy waves, I was giddy. Yesterday I got a workout from swimplan.com, a free web site that spits out swim workouts based on a few variables, and I hopped in the water. My swim was amazing. Outside of the water I am high-strung and clumsy. But once I get my hair wet, I become a different person... calm, efficient, strong, graceful. I swam about 1200 meters, nothing groundbreaking, but it was phenomenal to, well, both literally and figuratively get my feet wet. I knew I wanted to get back to swimming and after today  I'm going to make it  a part of my weekly training schedule.

I very rarely get nervous. I've found that the best cure for nerves is to prepare. Then, even if things don't go as planned, I know that I did all that I could leading up to the event.

Well, I am signed up for a 10K on Sunday and I am nervous.

Recently, my runs have sucked and I don't know why. There are legitimate factors like the heat, but I'm starting to wonder if I'm just in worse shape than I thought. I look back on my training log and before I got sick, I was cranking out awesome bricks... 15 mile bike rides followed by 6-8 mile runs at tempo pace. I'd been doing this weekly for about two months in addition to running three other times a week. But since I've been sick I've been having a hard time cranking out 6-8 mile runs at a slower pace and without the biking beforehand. I've been consistently hitting my other runs and those have been going great, but my long runs are really lacking. I can't figure out what is going on and I'm not sure what this is going to mean for my race on Sunday.

I also think some of this is psychological. This race last year was my first 10K in about a decade. Going in I was dehydrated, I rolled my ankle getting into the car the morning of, and I had no idea how to pace myself or what I was capable of. Even with all of that I far exceeded my expectations and had what, for me, was a really great race. Then in September, after a summer of marathon training, I smashed that solid performance with a 10K that I still can't believe I ran as fast as I did. That leaves me with a most recent 10K that is well out of my reach and a prior strong performance on this course... I have a lot to live up to with this race which compounds a bad two weeks of running.

I put off registering for this race all week but then I realized that NOT running this race because I was scared of doing poorly would be taking the easy way out and the wrong reason for not running. I'm not that person, so this morning I signed up.  If nothing else, even if I have a bad race, I'm really glad I'm going to get out there and give it a go. Wish me and my nerves good luck

About 2 weeks ago I finished my first season as a coach for Girls on the Run (GOTR). For people who are unfamiliar with the program, volunteer coaches from the community sign on for 10 weeks to train 3rd to 5th grade girls for a 5K while teaching them age-appropriate lessons (e.g. values, promises, self-esteem, communication, healthy choices). I love running, kids and volunteering... this was the perfect opportunity for me. So, some of my favorite moments from the season (with thanks to my co-coach Megan whose pictures I used):

Community Service Project

One of our lessons was a community service project that the girls planned and we made cards for soldiers. 

While we did this, I was speaking with the girl above about my trip to Antarctica and the conversation went something like this:

S: You're going to Antarctica, right?  Are you going to die?

Me: Um, I hope not. In fact I hope to take pictures of penguins and when I come back I'll send them to you.

S: (pause) ... I like penguins! But if you do die, I'll go to your funeral.

Thanks...? Other cool moments were when two of our older girls broke out and recited the entire Gettysburg address completely spontaneously! I am so proud that our girls are so sweet, such great athletes and smart cookies, too! And three girls worked together to make a card. One accidentally wrote "Dare" instead of "Dear" and they ended up with a card that said "Dare to be brave." I couldn't think of anything more fitting!

Coaching Highlights

I have so many great memories from coaching, but two really stand out, for very different reasons.

The girl in the picture above, on the right, was a little spark plug. She had so much energy and always had a smile. Once she ran by me and she had been going for what seemed like forever. I was cheering her on and telling her to keep it up and as she sped by she only yelled.... "I..... AM.... HYPERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!" I think everyone who witnessed it was just doubled over in laughter because she was such a great source of energy. I will definately be channeling her for my next marathon. I should also note that at the end of the season she won the "Most Likely to Stand Tall" award because whenever we asked the girls what their favorite promise to themselves was, she would reply "I promise to stand tall because I'm short!"

Unlike our other little balls of energy, we had a small handful of girls who were really hard to get moving when we started. One really stood out and at times she confided in the coaches that the kids made fun of her and that she didn't really like herself. At first, she was very unsure of herself and she would walk more than she would run and it was tough to get her to participate. But over time she started not only to open up, but to participate, run, and smile while she did it. One day she came up to me and asked for a challenge. I told her to run two laps without stopping and come back and do situps. She did that, got lots and lots of praise and went off to walk the next lap. When she came around again, she asked for another challenge. This time: three laps. While she was on her 2nd lap another girl (K) came up and asked for a challenge. I told her to wait until the first girl (A) finished her laps so that the two of them could run together. Not only did they run together, but they cheered each other on the whole time. At the end of the session, we have girls nominate another girl who did something good to lead the stretches. K nominated A because the A motivated her!  I was SO PROUD. Here's a picture of A finishing the 5K with Sarah, my Antarctica companion, and another one of the other coaches:

Wondergirl 5K

It was a miserable day for a 5K. I woke up and wondered if there was any way I could possibly pull of staying home. It was cold and rainy. Poor Lisa, (bottom left) was shivering and chattering But, in spite of it, most of our girls and their parents toughed it out and made it anyway! I am so proud of their accomplishment! Here's a picture of the coaches running while shedding clothes to pass off to Megan...

...and me and Sarah with one of the girls at the finish line. This girl broke her foot something like 3 weeks before the race and finished anyway!

What did we get out of GOTR?

• Almost all of our girls have now run a 5K!

• They've helped support our troops

• They've learned about how to stay healthy physically and emotionally. I found out at the end-of-season banquet that one of our girls had a big falling out with her friends at school during the season. Her dad said that because of the lessons she learned at GOTR and the friends she made there she was able to cope with it really well.

• They made friends! Even though they were different ages and from different schools at the end-of-season banquet they all sat at the same table together.

• I really benefited from their positive energy and they really motivated and inspired me.

I can't wait to coach next year! (That is, if I don't die a slow, painful, penguin-induced death while in Antarctica )

I have an abnormal phobia of snakes. It is bad. In college I was a physiology/neurobiology and psychology double major and as such I took a lot of biology and genetics classes. Textbooks  for these subject love to show snakes (shudder) doing snake things... eating antelopes, possessing genes that make them a certain pattern (calico cats also have genes that make them a special pattern... show pictures of kitties for crying out loud!). I am so terrified of snakes I had to have my college roommate go through my textbooks, find any pictures of snakes, and cover them with post-it notes because otherwise I couldn't read my books. I can't look at pictures, I can't see them on TV, I can't even stop to think about what would actually happen if I saw one. I told you when we started.... big fear of snakes.  

When I'm not running or with my nose in a de-snaked textbook, I'm in training to be a therapist. I see a handful of clients and I'm supervised by a licensed psychologist. Just so happens my supervisor, Larry, is amazing. For any of my psychologist readers, he was trained by the founder of cognitive-behavioral psychology, Aaron T. Beck, and he was one of the therapists on the TDCRP. As most of the clients in our clinic have anxiety, Larry often talks about the saber-tooth tiger in the room. The short version of how this works is people with anxiety get aroused for any number of reasons (caffeine, overactive adrenal gland, whatever). Because arousal is a component of the adaptive fight or flight response people start looking for what could be causing this response... where is the saber tooth tiger in the room? Is it under the table? Behind the couch? The problem is, there isn't a saber-tooth tiger, so people with anxiety attribute it to something else and to something non-adaptive. My job as a psychologist is to get people to shift their thinking so that they can acknowledge that they can calm down because there's no tiger in the room that's going to attack. 

So tying this back to running...  Yesterday I was on the treadmill and running at a pretty good clip. Heart rate was up, breathing was up, adrenaline was flowing. I like to watch action-type stuff on TV when I run because it matches my physiological state. While watching SpikeTV a commercial pops on with the mother of all snakes. If I hadn't been running I would have likely fallen off of whatever I was sitting on and I cowered in tears (I know ... it's really maladaptive, I told you... bad phobia). But, I saw the snake and my physiological arousal couldn't increase anymore... heart was already pumping, adrenaline was at its max... it was a fight or flight ceiling effect. As a cognitive psychologist I thought, "Huh... that should scare me." But I wasn't having any sort of physiological response because I was already maxxed out. It was such an awesome lesson for me. I know the next time I see a snake my heart rate will still spike and I'll start to sweat and my adrenaline will go through the roof... but now I know that that's all it is. There isn't really a saber-tooth tiger (snake) that's going to get me, it's just my mis-attribution of arousal. I knew that before, but now it's a different type of knowledge. The 3-year-old knows the stove is hot because dad said so.... the 3-year-old really knows the stove is hot once they touch it.  

Running always surprises me with what it teaches me, but I never would have expected this. At least yesterday, for the first time in almost 25 years, in the battle of Kat vs. visual representation of snake, Kat came out on top. And I think yesterday helped tip the balance in my favor. Even if it didn't and I really run into a snake one day, I'll at least have the confidence that I can outrun it

In my very first blog post I promised, in other words, to post the good, the bad, and the ugly. So, here's the ugly.

After the end of a CRAZY semester, I hit the ground running. I couldn't wait to get back into training. I went from monthly mileage of 20 miles (read another post about a near-amputation and pneumonia) to 80 miles in April. Now 80 miles a month isn't anything so spectacular, but I made the mistake of forgetting to put it in perspective. Last Tuesday I went for a 5 mile run and BONKED. Bonked like I have never bonked before.  I ran about 2.5 miles (thankfully I was on a treadmill) and I felt worse than I did at mile 25 of a marathon. I didn't have the energy to walk or stretch. I took the elevator up one floor to my condo, I grabbed a banana and I laid on the ground. It was PATHETIC (and no, I'm not the type to be unduly hard on myself, it really was a disaster).

That day I was also the most irritable I had been in YEARS. I'm a sunshine, happy kind of person. I'm that obnoxious friend who always looks for the silver lining. Yes, some could even call me perky. But not on Tuesday. I was cranky. I was bitter. On Wednesday I went shopping with a friend (another psychologist) and as we were driving and I was cursing at drivers, she had the courage to say, "It sounds like you have a lot of anger today" in perfect therapist speak.  She was right and that made me even more mad.  Later that day I had the pleasure of catching up with a friend from college:

Jake: Hey! How are you?!

Me: Eh. I'm pissy. I'm in a bad mood.

Jake: What? Are you allowed to do that?!

Yes. On Tuesday and Wednesday I was allowed to do it. I did it rather well in fact. I hated being in such a bad mood, but nothing (not even running!    ) could break me out of my funk. Add to this the fact that I was EXHAUSTED. And anxious. My heart was pounding out of my chest, just racing. I couldn't relax, even when I was going to sleep (and I am a champion when it comes to sleeping). I realized that for the last few days I'd been sleeping terribly, having a hard time going to sleep and waking up in the middle of the night. Well, my dear readers, my post title gave it away. At some point  on Wednesday, a lightbulb went off. Decreased performance. Low mood. Fatigue. Increased resting heart rate.  Insomnia. Classic signs of overtraining.

I rested all day on Thursday (after sleeping  12 hours Wednesday night!). I slept another 12 hours Thursday night. Friday I ran 5 deliberately slow miles and today I'm resting before a 12 mile bike/8 mile run tomorrow. For now I'm going to increase my rest days from one day a week to two. I'm going to reorganize my workouts so that I don't have two hard workouts together (currently following Hal Higdon's Intermediate Spring Training which has Saturday as Tempo/Fartlek days, followed by a Sunday long run). I'm also going to temporarily cut my hill workout. At this point in my training, I think mileage is more important than hills, and Pittsburgh is so hilly, I can't avoid them. Instead of having a separate hill workout, I'll just handle the hills on my regular runs.

So cheers to training, but keeping it in perspective. Happy running    (notice the smile's back!) 

Today I had the honor and pleasure of running with my friend, Rich, who is an incredibly accomplished (read: FAST!!!) runner. He's sponsored by Powerbar, has been in Runner's World, and was one of four men selected to compete in The Greatest Race on Earth. I've never, ever run with him before because his race speeds are roughly 3 minutes/mile faster than mine. (read: I'm terrified to run with the man). We decided to run a new 5K because it worked better for our schedules and the "cost" of registration was a bag of non-perishable food for a good cause. I should say that I've never really raced a 5K before. And, after a 6 month running hiatus I'm not in the best shape I've ever been. But, I'm one of those "If you shoot for the moon and miss, you fall among the stars" people. So, I took my 10K PR from last September and using a pace calculator thought I should shoot for 7:5x mile splits. Rich was willing to pace me, so let's see what happened. Some facts:

1. I finished 4th overall for women

2. I finished 1st overall for my age group

3. My 5K PR (from my 10K PR split) still stands at 24:30 even

This means that I ran slower than my goal, but that's ok because I had a blast and I can accurately gauge where my training is and how I'll improve in the future. Running with Rich also allowed me to learn from him (he thinks I should keep running after the top of a hill when I practice hill repeats because I peter out, and that I should practice strides at the end of my long runs because I had NO kick left at the end today). I also have a newfound respect for the man's speed... let's just say by the time I hit two miles, had he been racing and not pacing, he would have been done already! That is so amazing! And what a very nice person to pace me on a rainy, humid morning. 

What did I get from today? Training tips and hardware (which will be mailed to me since they mixed up our bibs so they thought I was the third male finisher). I didn't PR or come close. I didn't have as strong of a race as I would have liked. But I had fun and I hope there will be lots of room for new PRs in my future  

My body's resilience always amazes me. Last training season, I couldn't believe how I could push myself in races, make time for my training, and run 16 miles less than a week after a tumble made my knees look like this:

What I'm not sure of is why I'm underestimating it now. After running MCM I was so excited about maintaining my fitness, I'd put in so much hard work I didn't want to lose it. That was fine and dandy until two weeks after the race I was cutting a bagel and cut my finger so badly I was out of running for three months, had lots of PT and have permanent nerve damage (if I do anything, I do it all the way, apparently). Chris, my boyfriend, told me the other day that Baghdad is safer than my kitchen... he survived Baghdad with only a scar on his shoulder while I have permanent nerve damage! About three weeks after being cleared to run post- accidental self-knifing, I was sidelined again with pneumonia. Three weeks of not breathing and not running sucked. By this time about 4 1/2 months had passed since the marathon and I was completely bummed that I was going to need to start from scratch. Or did I?

If you read my blog you will notice a theme: hills. Pittsburgh has LOTS of hills. You can't avoid them. Long hills that are deceptive in that over a mile their elevation will creep up a few hundred feet. Short hills that are so steep you can't run down them, you need to walk down them. And lots of hills in between! So today when I set out for my 4 miles, there was one of those long deceptive hills that I had to conquer. To give you perspective on this hill, Chris is a fit guy, a natural athlete. He ran a marathon with ONE "long" run of 8 miles and no other training. Just winged the sucker. Last Fall we went running together and I told him we'd just do four miles and I'd pick a pretty easy route... just so happened it included this hill. Half way up the hill, Chris was panting, and if he wasn't such a gentleman to me, he would have been cursing (he still reminds me of this run). The hill put him in his place- he made it because he's a tough guy and a great athlete, but it reminded me that "easy" routes in Pittsburgh aren't always so easy.

So I haven't run that particular hill since probably October 2007 and today I was a little nervous about it. I gave myself a pep talk. Reminded myself that in the past I've found it hard, Chris found it hard, and whenever I run it, I always see people walking it.  Then I went out to conquer the sucker. To my surprise and delight, no problems, I coasted up the hill, finished my run and felt good the whole way. No panting, no cussing, no walking. I think getting back into my training, this was a really awesome reminder of how resilient my body is. After depriving it of running for about 5 months it (I) can still tackle running in Pittsburgh