I am going to save us all the agony of reliving the past few weeks... However, I will tell you that there have been ups and downs-unfortunately a few more downs than ups:(

Due to the fact that the downs have been more frequent than the ups we have a wonderful new addition to our team, a sports psychologist. Natasha did a search online to find a sports psychologist in the Washington DC area and we stumbled upon a woman who played college tennis, coached tennis and who has worked with tennis players. Needless to say that it was a great fit.

She immediately noticed that I had bad anxiety and for whatever reasons felt a lot of pressure. During our first meeting I did not say much, but it seemed like she knew me. She suggested that focusing on an in between point routine would help to relieve a lot of the anxiety that I was feeling. The hope was that my mind would so occupied by doing the routine that I would have time to think about anything else. She also suggested that we start keeping all sorts of stats during the match I can see and have evidence of the progress that make so that I have something to hang my hat on.

I played the bank of the west tournament this weekend and lost first round of qualies. However, I can honestly say that I got better. By focusing on my routines I was able to release a lot of the panic that I usually have. Was it all gone? Absolutely not, but at least I could follow very concrete steps to help me relax.

Everyone marvels about the fact that I have this great physic and I am so toned and muscular. Has anyone ever thought about what happens when someone who is as compact as I am gets tight? It is like trying to ask a tree stump to get lose! I never realized it until this past week how hard it is to play tennis when I am so tight. When I get nervous it gets even worse. These routines/relaxing techniques may be more important than I think.

Today on July 27, 2009 I had the great opportunity to play a practice match against Cara Black. I hope everyone knows who she is, but if you don't I will be glad to tell you. She is the number one doubles player in the world!!!!!! On the ride over to the practice courts I had a vision that I was going to poop my pants or vomit on myself because I was so nervous! It all worked out in the end. Like I told Natasha, Cara double faulted like the rest of us, hit returns to the fence like the rest of us, she is just like the rest of us. Well maybe not like all of us-the only person I can speak for is myself, and I know I can hang with her. I am in the right place, doing the right things if I give it time it will come.

Until next time...!