I usually wind up standing at the edge of the pool or ocean for a few moments before a workout. I stare at the water, elbows tucked in close and knuckles pressed on the bottom of my chin. And I talk to myself. Silently.
It's gonna be cold. That looks like someone I know. I have to go to the store. I should call my dad. I'm tired. What's coming up this weekend? Did I train enough for this? My shoulders feel tight. I need to get in. Did I pay rent yet? I'm a little hungry. Big wave. I should go now. Was that a stingray? Did I lock the car?
All those thoughts I had before are silenced underwater. It doesn't happen right away, and it doesn't happen all the time. It happens while I'm training as well as during a race. And not just with swimming. Any challenge, big or small, brings it on.
I don't know if you've experienced this? You're in that zone. You're catching another runner on the road. You're finishing your first triathlon. You finally ran a mile without stopping. You did your first real pull-up. You're logging 5,000 meters in the pool. You're just jogging down the beach. Or climbing up a mountain.
"At the peak of tremendous and victorious effort, while the blood is pounding in your head, all suddenly becomes quiet within you. Everything seems clearer and whiter than ever before, as if great spotlights had been turned on. At that moment, you have the conviction that you contain all the power in the world, that you are capable of everything, that you have wings. There is no more precious moment in life than this, the white moment, and you will work very hard for years just to taste it again." (Yuri Vlasov, Soviet Weightlifter)
Swimming is my escape. Challenges are an escape. Mute the negative thoughts. Mute the fears. Turn up the volume on the clarity.