No, not in Kindergarten, this past week...
I had just finished a great run. I was feeling amazing & so proud of myself! That's when it happened. I encountered an "innocent" elderly man in the elevator. My friend & I were telling him about our work out to make conversation. He looked me up and down and said, "Yes, you need the exercise. You're chubby."
Excuse me? Did I hear him right? Yup! Again, with a completely straight face he said, "Yes, you're a chubby girl". The door opened & he just walked away. We were both too shocked to say anything. I was crushed and humiliated in front of my new workout buddy! Pretty much my worst nightmare & my greatest fear - that someone would call me FAT! She tried to reassure me, told me he was crazy & not to worry about him! I forced a smile - "I'm fine."
I got into my car and headed to Target for a few errands. I wasn't fine. I couldn't get the comment out of my head. Ugh! Here comes the negative self talk, followed by giving up & overeating. BUT, this time was different. I thought about my run and what I had accomplished that day. Yes, I'm 5'2" with a round figure AND I'm strong! I had worked up a great sweat and I wasn't gonna let this guy get in the way of that!
And then a very funny thing happened. While in Target, I was stopped by a man who said, "You know, you look just like my wife. She used to be a model, so you should take that as a compliment!" He smiled and walked away. Wow! I stopped in my tracks and chuckled to myself...
I know this was God, or the Universe or some higher being telling me not to take either comment too seriously! The OLD ME would have discarded the compliment, while replaying the elevator scenario over & over. Why was I so mean to myself like that? Why give either one more than just a passing thought?
The point is, no one can build me up or tear me down, BUT ME. No one can take away the effort I put in or the goal I am working for. My confidence, my strength, my determintaion - can come from me & only me.
I have realized this past week that I really missed running. It's something that's been waiting deep down to get out again. I absolutely need exercise for my physical and emotional health, as well as for the happiness of my family. It's no longer an option not to be active.
Tonight, I can whole-heartedly say that I'm NOT a chubby girl, I'm NOT a model, but I AM A RUNNER.