As a Raiders fan it took me a few days of contemplation, and calming down to even have the ability to put my fingers to the key board and put my thoughts on the page without throwing my computer out the window.

After what I consider a year in the right direction...I mean no one expected the Raiders to take it all but considering the recent state of the franchise and the first round draft pick that didn't sign until partway through the regular season the team showed promise. There were some small strokes of genius and if all those little strokes could pull together into one FULL game, we might have a change at success, but hey you can't ask for it all, they are rebuilding.

After the news coming out of Oakland this week...I am challenged with an internal struggle. Do I stand by my man...Mr. Autumn Wind?

As a San Diego resident I have watched all the transplants that moved here for the surf, the sun, the babes, switch from Lyons, Forty-Niners, Rams, and Jets fans turn on their team and around week 10 decide that the Chargers were their team. Its these same people that relentlessly tease and attempt to argue something they know nothing about with me, all they know is Chargers winning and good Raiders are the enemy, and since these individuals started really paying attention to the NFL losing.

Ok...that is not a good option...I refuse to become one of those people.

But how can I stand by a franchise that is making a mockery of itself? If I added up the time I have put towards my fandom, the money I have spent on merchandise and tickets, the 6 months I spent interning for the Raiders radio station, and all the heartache and tears, I have given my soul to the Raiders since I was 16. Yes, it has only been 8 years, as a running back fan I was dedicated to the Cowboys from age 6 until Emmitt Smith retired. I guess the only answer is to keep hoping praying and rooting for the Raiders, but pull out any further financial contributions to the diseased franchise being eaten away by the parasite that is Al Davis, until decisions are made and actions are taken that I can support as a fan.

I had issues with the team that started with draft day, and not just because I am a huge Calvin Johnson fan. When you are a rebuilding team, you need to spread the wealth around, but instead we put all our eggs in the basket that is Jamarcus Russell, and sure that basket can throw the egg an exorbitant amount of yards from its knees. I don't know about you but I have never seen a quarter back have occasion to be on his knees, or strike that with the Raiders offensive line, the quarterback often ends up on his knees, booty, or back but at that point he is down...sacked and throwing the ball really is going to do any good.

I digress...not only do we keep the first round pick, but we pick an obvious egotist who holds out does not go to training camp or play with the team until well into the city. I am glad that he looked great sitting on the bench in those multi-carrot diamond earrings after he finally signed, glad a team was ready to contribute to his bank account, when he was obviously not prepared to contribute to the team. After paying him that much...even with a horrible record and a high draft pick again, we have no money left to pay that pick. Where is the logic behind these decisions?

I got over my frustration slightly...when I got too see more than double the wins as the 2006 season, and some great individual performances.

All that hope for the future has been shattered in the off season, and then stomped on repeatedly throughout the last week of January. Al Davis is obviously an egotist who needs to reconfirm his ultimate POWER to himself and those around him...to the point where he has become a tyrant ruling over the once powerful kingdom that seems to have lost its commitment to excellence.

First there was Kiffin's decision to fire Ryan. When the defense has been the most successful portion of the Raiders, it seems ridiculous to fire the brain behind it all. There is of course Monte Kiffin, looking for a new job, sure Monte is respected and has had a ton of success but I did think it was shady that Lane would fire Ryan to bring in his dad. So when Davis overturned this decision, I offered my support. I mean I like Lane, I definitely think he needs to be given a chance to develop and build something in Oakland, and maybe overturning one of his first big decision hinders that, but so far I was still supporting the franchise.

Then this week it all hit the fan. With the shady letter asking Kiffin to retire, mention of Dennis Green (who I think should stick to broadcasting), and the removal of any sort of power what-so-ever. Any glimpse of rebuilding is now down the drain. All hope I had that the franchise was turning around crushed. Basically the way I see it we are screwed until Ad Davis keels over and loses the strength to assert his dominance over the Raiders. Last I checked football was a team sport, not a dictatorship. Leadership is necessary but two heads, or even the heads of 8 coaches are better than the one head of Al Davis that should be going senile any day.

I had decided to just attempt to avoid the NFL in 2008, not very possible considering I work in sports radio. That was until I heard my favorite Raider, Kirk Morrison, interviewed by Jim Rome during radio row at the Super Bowl festivities. He said next year he didn't want to be sitting there on radio row but playing in the game. I was floored by his undying optimism, and though I cannot take on the same sentiment, it reminded me of why I stand by my team, so even though my heart may get ripped out and stomped on in 2008 I am going to stand by my man, or men, the Oakland Raiders.