Ahoy me maties! I be needin' to have a bit 'o a chat with yarselves about yet olde eteamz marketing program! What be the type o' plunder that yarselves would like to see pillaged from the eteamz coffers?
Okay, as much as I love Halloween, that is more than enough pirate talk. For those of you who got about half-way through that paragraph and gave up due to the headache you no doubt developed, here is the translation.
Hi everyone! I want to talk to you about the eteamz marketing program! What type of incentives would you like to see us offer in our marketing programs? What do you find personally compelling when it comes to upgrading to a PLUS account?
So far, we have stuck mostly with discounts and free upgrades as incentives in our promotional materials, but as a team full of indidviduals plagued with A.D.D., we are looking for some new ideas to spice it up a little bit...not to mention an excuse to milk our partners a little bit for free goodies!
Without further adieu, I present to you the top 5 worst ideas for promotions that we have come up with so far. Enjoy these treats....
Number 5 - The "I http://community.active.com/blogs/eteamz/2006/10/23/trick-or-treat/heart eteamz" Shirt
Got a hot date? An important business meeting? A crucial presentation? Never fear, eteamz is here with clothing guaranteed to impress! Take a peek at this beauty, the "I http://community.active.com/blogs/eteamz/2006/10/23/trick-or-treat/heart eteamz" shirt! Sign up for PLUS now and receive this must-have addition to any wardrobe.
Number 4 - Lunch With an eteamz Staffer
Can you imagine a greater thrill that sitting down and sharing a meal with one of the creative geniuses who run eteamz? I sure can't. Upgrade to PLUS today and be entered in the drawing to enjoy a lunch with the eteamz staffer of your choice at any one of these fabulous restaurants: Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, KFC, and Wendy's. Don't forget your credit card, because you're buying!
Number 3 - The Angry (and potentially rabid) Ferret Speed Trainer
Bob and weave. Any boxer will tell you that training to move quickly and be light on your feet is essential in any bout. Strength and speed are two of the most important characteristics in any athletic endeavor. Behold! The angry ferret speed trainer! This eteamz exclusive is available only to those who sign up for a PLUS account. Train your team to be the fastest in the league by setting this little bundle of fun on them! The ferret's speed and erratic movement will no doubt guarantee almost immediate athletic improvement in whichever participant he decides to chase first.
Number 2 - Custom Meat Prints
What says "team" better than a ballpark hotdog or a big juicy hamburger? Not a whole lot, right? Well, now eteamz and our partners are bringing you a special promotion...custom printed meat products! Put a picture of your little all-star on a hotdog and chow down. Print a picture of that championship-winning play on a hamburger and celebrate! Sign up for a PLUS account today and receive 15 free meat prints!
Number 1 - The eteamz Urn
Is sport your life? Does your sweat pool in the form of the ESPN logo? Sign up for a PLUS account today to share your love of sport with the world and receive your very own custom eteamz urn! Continue your love of sport into eternity after your mortal presence is long gone. Be remembered the way you deserve with a custom designed eteamz urn featuring your choice of photo printed on the exterior courtesy of our partners. Supplies are limited, so act now!
In all seriousness, please send any ideas that you would like to see made into a marketing reality to firstname.lastname@example.org. We would love to hear your opinions. Otherwise, look forward to your face on a hamburger patty!
P.S. A private company actually does offer MLB themed urns, check it out here.