Yesterday was the big kickoff meeting for the San Francisco area Team in Training, at a hotel downtown.  Huge crowd, hurried people in Team in Training regalia running around, squeals of delight as old friends found each other again, and many confused looking newbies like me wandering around looking nervous and nibbling on muffins from the hotel.

But once the program got underway, I was immediately impressed, and moved, by how well they do things in this organization; for example:

• Starting with a movie that follows various patients through the many experiences of having cancer

• Having someone who currently has the disease give a talk about her experiences

• Organizing the teams within each sport into small groups, based on where you live, to facilitate carpooling with your friends (I was surprised not to be the only person coming from the South Bay - one even came from Santa Cruz)

• Giving every person a "mentor" who has done the event before

• Including numerous "honorees" who have cancer and are all doing the event along with us

• Creating a detailed team website that includes news, photos of everyone on the team, links to books about people with cancer for inspiration, fundraising advice, and much more

• Providing a packet with detailed bios of all the (5 or 6) coaches, team captains (another 4), and honorees

• And last but not least, having each sport give a weekly "team spirit" award (won by ME!!!) and a periodic "top fundraiser" award (also won by...ME!!!).  How can I not be motivated after winning 2 awards right off the bat!

I know there will be even more ingenious and heartwarming surprises from these people.  It's truly a wonderful organization I already feel a part of.  I wouldn't be surprised to find myself doing these events year after year.

So last night I got home from there and was so overwhelmed by all the positive energy that I had to crash on the couch, watch a couple episodes of "Dark Angel", and eat too many homemade chocolates from my friend Tien, (who sends them to all her donors for the Aids Lifecycle ride.)  Had to balance all that altruism and self-sacrifice with some serious vegging and self-indulgence.

Off to write another post now, on another subject...read on.  Or at least, I hope read on...I have a feeling I'm mostly talking to myself on this thing. And my big furry cat Purr, who's here in my lap as I write.

You haven't really lived until you've contemplated asking all your co-workers for money.  Or rather, you haven't really visited your own vulnerable nature.  Will I be rejected?  How will that feel?  Does not giving me any money mean they don't like me?  Should I remind people, or just let it drop?  Am I alone in the world with no support?  Is this all my fault for working so much and training so much and therefore having no time to develop close friendships?  Is God punishing me for screwing up in life?

But actually it's been easier than I thought, because while many don't, many more do give something to my cause.  And each time somebody does, I feel so extremely happy and affirmed that it makes up for all the self-doubt.

It's teaching me to reach out, put myself on the line, and bravely watch what happens next.  It's showing me that I do have people in my life who care, not just about me, but about humanity. 

I'm starting to wonder whether this isn't its own kind of "training" for a whole other kind of "fitness".