"But it's not easy and I am just not loving being pregnant. I hate that I'm gaining weight and I have no control. I love that I can feel her move and I totally love that our daughter will soon have a sister and we'll have two kids in the house. But that doesn't mean I have to love this process. I don't. I miss my body. I miss my long Saturday runs. I miss not having heartburn and I miss being skinny. I hate that I'm already getting in my own **** way and I'm only halfway there.

Pregnancy is rough, man. It's the marathon of bodily functions. "

Atomic, you are singing to the choir, but I love to hear it. THis is my first, we were trying, but I'm not happy to be pregnant. I am not enjoying it, and especially since I'm only 17 weeks (like javaangel) and just feel fat and frumpy. I haven't felt the baby, so it's just like putting on all the weight that I lost before I started running. People keep telling me "Oh, it's for such a good reason", but for someone that fought to lose weight, and to start running (I was getting a a pace I was so happy with, after 2 years of hard work, when I got pregnant), those words don't help, they just grate. I will be so happy to have kids, but I'm not happy to have to go through this.

Atomic, I know a year is a long time. I gave up "racing" until after the baby is here, so I'm missing my favorite season of the year, and the 25th running of the race I hate, but will run every year because I can. BUT....on the flip side, we will run again. We will keep running (or waddling, however it looks later on!) until we can't, because we're runners. We will start running as soon as we feel like our bodies can handle it, and we will still have running.

I miss the peacefulness of running. Even without the distended belly right now, my breathing feels different, my body feels different, and those really great, peaceful runs are rare these days. Yet, I run..walk....run....walk...run. Because it's mine. It will be mine in another 6 months, even though it will be trickier, but it will still be mine. Hubby doesn't run, so in our house, it's only mine.

SO...even though we're only at mile 13 or 14....we can do this. We can push through the wall....the gas...the heartburn (I never had this until now!)....the aches and pains....the funky clothes we have to wear (I've seen so many non-maternity clothes now that I would love to wear!)....we will cross the finish line, make it through our recovery periods, and live to run another day.

We can do this!

Atomic,
Yeah, the "for a good cause" comments are not necessary. Think I'm not away of that?

Other comments driving me crazy these days (even though I realize they are well intended) "You CAN'T ........" and "How are you feeling?"

A. Don't tell me what I can't do, focus on what I can do. Plus, most of the "You can'ts" are old, outdated or have been refuted by my doctor, whom I trust to steer me in the right direction.

B. I'm not sick, terminally ill or otherwise. I'm pregnant. And although I'm glad for the concern, I'm fine. I'm just pregnant. If you truly want my litany of "I'm having stretching pains in my abdomen, I have a yeast infection, blah blah" I'll be happy to share, but I really don't think most people want to hear that. So...how about a simple "how are you?"

At least no one is touching my belly yet. That may lead to bodily harm for strangers!

Atomic, how about "meeting back" here (and any other pregnant gals that are around) so we have a place to chat, vent, etc? It's most helpful to me to just know you're out there, that I'm not the only one that is feeling some of this stuff. Plus, I think we're pretty close in the pregnancy marathon timeline...

Good running,

Atomic,
I'm due March 1, this is my first. I'm more looking at my due "month" since I haven't ever met someone that had their baby on their due date. I figure anytime after the 15th of February....

My mileage was higher this summer, I was training for a half over Labor Day. I got through it, and had a great time--helped there was an OB running with our TNT group just in case I had any issues or questions!

My mileage is pretty low now, and I'm walking a lot more, but I'm making sure to run 2-3 days per week, and walk for sure the other days, plus weight lifting, biking, stair climber, etc. I really don't like using an elliptical, so I stay way from that unless I'm really bored and decide to see if I do like it again! I've always done a run/walk method, but now I find my walk breaks sooner and sometimes longer. I still try to get in 4-6 on the weekends for now, plus 1.5 to 3 during my week day runs.

I just keep waddling on! Seems the more I come to "terms" with my new body, the easier it is to handle the changes and deal with the effects.

I'm showing a little, but there isn't a lot of belly to deal with yet...that may change the running scenery again. Who knows.

18 weeks today....can't believe we're nearly halfway to the finish line!

Today I realized this was about the time in my first pregnancy when I had to stop running. It was a really bad December and the side walks weren't shoveled and salted enough and it wasn't safe for anyone to go out let alone a pregnant woman. So I feel like I have accomplished a lot more this time around. I love the fact that I ran through leaves today and that I am still somewhat in control of body is nice.

New problem: only two pairs of shorts that fit!

And on the questioning "Like how are you feeling?"
I didn't tell people for that reason and now that I am showing I am getting them. I just tell - Geez I woke up did dishes a, load of laundary, ran ten miles and made a nutricious lunch (and probably premade dinner) all before noon. I don't know how I am feeling - normal until you reminded me that I was somehow broken.

I go to a Y Mon, Wed, and Fri - when my son isn't in preschool - they have babysitting and he gets to play with his friends. I just get bored with the track and I like my streets and watching the leaves change.

I read recently that heart rate depends on age - I believe up to either 25 or 30 you can get your heart rate up to 155. There are now heart rate ranges - I can't reach the max limit if I tried - my sister and I have scary low heart rates while my mom has scary high blood pressure.

Other pregnancy news: Pre - pregnancy weight gain is more detrimental to prenancy health than during the pregnancy weight gain. A recent study came out and said that if a woman gained just 7 lbs between pregancies her chances for complications went up. Now we can feel a little less guilty about extra weight gain and go back to the superficial worries of weight gain - like do I look like a blimp or just a hot air balloon.

Got to put the kid to bed - keep well - he's doing the bunny hop

Hey Ladies,
I feel like my mileage is about shot. I have been walking a lot more, but with life as it has been the last few weeks, that's even been hard--just a lot with work, family, etc. Our running group meets every WEdnesday, that's the only guaranteed day for me lately. I usually walk the first 5 minutes to get going (where we start is uphill!) and then run/walk for 2-3 miles.

I miss 10 mile runs.

We do monthly group runs on a Saturday morning, usually 6-12 miles, and then have breakfast. I am hosting this month's on the 14th, and will be the Sag Hag this time! I guess I'm looking forward to it, but I will miss the actual running of it.

Every day, the same woman at work asks me "How are you feeling?". Today, I told her that I was fighting off a bug (my ears and throat are very sore, just started antibiotics), and she glided right over that to talking about maternity clothes. Guess I should be getting used to having lost some of "me" in this--sometimes I feel like a big ol' egg or incubator!

I wore my first maternity top to work yesterday and was SO comfortable. It was still pretty loose, but so much easier to wear all day than trying to still fit in regular clothes!

Hope everyone is doing well....how are you all FEELING?

Java,
Yeah, I'm wishing that fewer people knew--I'm still able to keep it pretty "hidden" for the most part. My husband says he can tell, but he sees the difference. With being at a new job, most of them never knew the truly unpregnant me!
Had my first sonogram today---WOW. I'm also feeling the little critter moving around, got to see it move too! Everything looks good so far, it was a pretty incredible deal.

Must know that he/she's being talked about--there he/she goes again! We're not finding out what we're having, so I'm still not sure what to call it. My friends call it the Bean (since that's what it used to look like) so I guess we'll stick with that!

Off to enjoy a quiet night at home--FINALLY! Too much time at work lately. 2 hours tomorrow morning, then I'm getting a massage and a haircut tomorrow afternoon!!!! Yeah!