quote:<HR>Originally posted by La Tortuga:
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman <HR>
and all the rest of them;
Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
Jack Handy
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with the fools he must come in contact with every day.
Ernest Hemingway
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
W.C. Fields
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
Brian O'Rourke
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
Dave Barry
Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1862!
Anonymous
To some its a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group.
Anonymous
I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.
Abraham Lincoln
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Stephen Wright
One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn't live like the previous generation. It hasn't yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.
Ron Klugman, SVP, Coors Brewing
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
Benjamin Franklin
The roots and herbs beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengthen and quicken the sight of the eyes.
Nicholas Culpeper
I recommend...bread, meat, vegetables and beer.
Sophocles' philosophy of a moderate diet
Alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so just get me through this exam so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer.
Homer Simpson
Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man's worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health.
Anonymous
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.
Dave Barry
I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.
Shakespeare, Henry V
Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of?and solution to?all life's problems.
Quote Rating: 9.0 outta 10 - Vote Now!
Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.
Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
Homer: Homer no function beer well without.
Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!
Barney: Hey, Homer, I'm worried about the beer supply. After this case, and the other case, there's only one case left.
Homer: Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!
Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
