We had 9 freshman the year she was a freshman and this year there are only 4 of those left on the team as seniors and only one moved to another school but she moved because of the program. The rest have quit. So that part has already started happening. Everyone likes to label you a complainer if you start talking politics and favoritism but that is the only way to explain some of the decisions that these coaches make. And I am sorry but we are all human so it is natural to develop favorites and the coaches who can overcome that usually put winning teams on the field year after year. Unfortunately we have never been lucky enough to have those coaches in school ball but we have in travel.
I do agree that worse will happen in life and that you should not let something like this shake your confidence especially if you are a pitcher because it is hard to be in that circle if you have no confidence in yourself but as mrtoo said it DOES affect them no matter how tough they are. And I think that it affects girls more than boys just because of the way girls are. They (or at least the ones I know) need more self assurance and reassurance than boys even if they try not to act like they do.
I like that response to the question of how to answer the playing time questions. That is very good and I will make that suggestion to her. That way she can "complain" without sounding like it!
I think most of the replies have been right on the mark (with the exception of the short rant about "wanting to be the star"). Look forward to College Ball and just support the High School team as much as possible. College Coaches really don't care about High School. They will come and see her pitch for her travel team though.
We are in a similar situation in that my daughter is a committed pitcher for her D3 college next year but is not pitching for her High School. In fact its her first year playing for her High School. She is enjoying the chance to have on her High School uniform for softball (did varsity swimming and waterpolo for the last 3 1/2 years). She has been catching and enjoying doing this despite not having been a catcher since 12U. I'm just a tad put out because I had to buy the catchers gear....but it is still fun.
she does not need high school ball anyway. girls who already signed, simply dont need to play high school ball. the coaches are worse and the talent is far weaker than travel ball anyway. have her make sure her grades are good..thats more important anyway. most high school coaches play to many favorites .
I think that the difference is that your dd is getting to play even if it is not pitching where my dd is not. If she were the starter at her defensive position then I think she would not be as upset but she is not even getting that. But she is now to the point that she is saying "It is their loss if they don't want me to pitch for them" and is trying to stay positive and support the team. She had thought about quitting but then she said that at least she is keeping her batting and throwing skills from getting rusty since they are practicing that just about daily and if she was not on the team then she would not be getting that much on her own.
Thanks again for all the opinions! I really appreciate being able to see this from the different perspectives than just my parent perspective!
Once again this tells you a lot about high school coaches. 95% of high school coaches couldn't coach themselves out of a wet paper bag. We go to watch, just to make fun of them.
I haven't taken a poll to determine percentages but I have seen some very good ones and some bad ones. I can say the same about travel coaches. I think the thing that makes you notice the bad hs coaches is it's harder to leave.
And how many HS coaches have to fill key positions that they can't recruit to fill? Easy to "make fun of them" but kind of hard to create a catcher or a SS in a couple of months.
I bet 95% of the people that bag on HS coaches couldn't coach their way out of a wet paper bag either
Everything Mark said.
And if I may add to that, tell your dd not to worry about things she can't control. In college there will be people looking to take her job every day/season and the coach will be looking for upgrades at all positions every year. All she can do is work on her own game and be ready.
If this minor stuff rattles her self confidence, she could be in a world of hurt.....especially being a pitcher.
She is trying to stay positive and upbeat but I can tell that it is very hard for her. She has gotten a little playing time on defense but still has not gotten to pitch which is her main position and what she loves to do. Unfortunately the team is still struggling to win and they are talking about pulling up some 8th graders once the middle school season is over to finish out with both Varsity and JV even though Varsity has plenty of players already on the bench. There is only about 6 weeks left in the school season so we are just looking forward to summer ball and keeping up the lessons for summer and college.
I just feel bad for her and for the whole team that they are losing due to coaching decisions. We have a lot of talent that unfortunately is not being utilized and the team has no chemistry due to the infighting between the upper and lower classmen. It really is a shame.
Common life situation. She will be better prepared for life and a stronger more mature young lady as a result of this experience. You should be more proud of her handling this well than of accomplishments that have brought success and glory.
I totally understand your frustration.
But my daughter is a junior, she hasn't yet comitted to a college, but has several sending her info on their school. Our HS coach is treating her the same way as yours is getting treated. Had told her all winter long that she would be the starter at her position. But then chose a girl whose dad comes and watches practice and talks to the coach on a daily basis. (this girl is a freshman) See our coach allows parents to come to practice and watch. Apparently several dad's come and "chit chat" with the coach and put in their "two cents" (I haven't went and wont go, but have been told this by my daughter and some of her team mates)...now their daughters get the playing time even though there are several upperclass girls that can play better in those girls positions. We too are losing while talented girls sit on the bench and watch. The politics in HS ball is crazy!!
You have been getting some great advice from others here...I plan on taking that and hopefully helping my daughter and a couple of her teammates.
Good luck and hopefully things work out in your favor.
Wow! I am looking at the post dates and nothing has changed in 3 years. My son is "B-C" studen,t talented and gifted athlete. He can play any sport with a ball. The HS coaches have not tried to help him get a scholarship and we are doing it on our own. He has played sports for 13 years and had been successful until he reached high school. This is when we were introduced to politics and poor inexperienced coaching. My advise to any parent looking for athletics as a means to a scholarship is to play/participate in AAU. If your HS has a good coaching staff, it's a different story. Your child must also advocate for themselves.
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