Unfortunately, unless there are lots of cases to study - and there certainly haven't been a lot of women running marathons while pregnant - long term effects of risky things that happen during pregnancy just aren't known. Many women smoked during pregnancy and most of their babies appeared to be healthy at birth. It wasn't until long term studies were done that it was realized more of those babies had more colds, more infections, and were overall slower learners than children of mothers who did not smoke. The drug Thalidomide caused obvious birth defects, but Diethylstilbestrol given to many pregnant women before 1971 was later shown to cause increases in vaginal and breast cancer and sterility in their daughters - serious effects not realized until 20-30 years after birth, when their babies couldn't have babies of their own!
So that's why I say no one truly knows at this point what harm running a marathon can do or has done to a fetus along for the ride, even if a handful of women have completed marathons and their babies appeared to be healthy at birth. Elevated body temperature for several hours as is likely to happen during a marathon (elevated body temperatures of 2-3 degrees or more happen routinely during marathons), or electrolyte imbalances, or a period of dehydration, or those elevated levels of cortisol that don't appear in shorter races where you don't run low on muscle glycogen - it's known that all those things can be bad for a fetus taken alone, but nobody knows just how bad they might effect any one person in any particular marathon. Nobody knows what the effect might be on any particular fetus either, but seems like most would agree there is at least some extra risk compared with running shorter distances.
Another thing that would concern me is the ability to stop if you do overheat, or have electrolyte problems, or run low on glycogen and start producing too much cortisol. Would you realize you were running into trouble or would the adrenaline of the race prevent you from realizing how bad you might be getting? Even if you did know, how easy would it be to quit and get back to your car or relatives? I've heard many a horror story about people with pulled muscles, dehydration, etc. having well more than an hour to get back, unless they appeared bad enough for an ambulance! Had that experience myself one Boston. It was 30 minutes at an aid station to wait for the medical bus, and over 90 minutes on the bus to get to the main med tent at the finish, and one person on our bus was in really bad shape and disoriented.
So, consider you have more than yourself to consider, and that marathon experiences, especially your first, can be very unpredictable. Regardless of what you decide, best wishes for you both!