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6511 Views 22 Replies Latest reply: Aug 7, 2009 8:17 AM by Mikend 1 2 Previous Next
kvermil Rookie 7 posts since
Feb 19, 2009
Currently Being Moderated

Jul 8, 2009 8:43 AM

Family thinking I am nuts, or a mid life thing    Does this happen to everyone??


Ok here is the thing I started running again in Jan. 09    In the snow in rain here in Ohio,  My family (wife and daughter) is convinced that this is just some midlife thing??   They figured I would quit by now, yet I ran in the snow the ice the rain,   then  spring came I got laid off , and now summer no job running in the heat  or late at night when the kids are asleep, They can't understand why...      I have entered two 5ks jsut to see if I could compete,  I have now completed two triathalons, and just enjoy the competition and being around people that also like to compete or just finish.



I dont mind being called nuts, because you have tobe somewhat nuts to do the tri, but they are not supporting me in this at all, ev'en to go as far as to say I am anoretix, Yes I have lost some weight 25 since Jan, glad to say it was the beer gut that is gone, I have always been thin growing up I am 200 lbs now 6'4, I am almost 40.  



But it is starting to affect me, I am only running twice a week now, about 12 miles, I have not registered for another race,  plus I cant really afford it now.



But the question remains do your fanilies all think your nut or that it is a midlife thing??



  • silvereagle Legend 1,159 posts since
    Dec 10, 2007





    Welcome and congrats on your 2 5ks



    Yes everyone around me thinks im nut not just because or running, but then again they that i had really lost when I trained for my first marathon last year., they just dont really talk to me about this year because im doing my second one.I started running again at 39. call it whatever you want midlife, reborn, just wanted to get healthy. I get support though and in that aspect im very happy. It would be discouraging to have people around that dont support your decisions and undermind them. I would ask them whats there reasoning around this? They dont have to enjoy it, but then again why cant I. Some people no mateer what you tell them just dont get it and never will no matter how much you try.



    I trully enjoy runing also and hope you find some happy medium that allows to to continue on your quest



    Were here for you Bro. Get out there and RUN..........






    It's not only about finishing, its about finishing healthy!

  • Marykb Legend 1,347 posts since
    Jan 16, 2008


    So what if its a midlife thing?  So what if you're "nuts"?  You're doing something positive - losing weight, getting fit, setting goals.  If your family doesn't support your efforts to improve your life, your health and your mental outlook,  then I have to wonder what their issue is.  Jealousy? 






    I started running my mid-30's (now mid-40's) so absolutely it is a midlife thing.  Some of us want to live many more healthy years and we see running as a way to improve our quality of life.  If your family doesn't support that, you have a problem.  I'm sorry to hear that is the case for you.  I hope they come around and decide to encourage your efforts.  But even so, you are doing this for you and you aren't taking anything away from them by doing it.  When I think of the ways some other men respond to midlife (like chasing younger women!) your family ought to be glad that you are turning your supposed "midlife crisis" into something that is making you a better person. 



  • a1961mark Rookie 6 posts since
    Jun 1, 2009

    First of all you are too young for a mid-life crisis.  That involves something like buying a motorcycle, which is what I did a few years ago.  I will be 48 this year and just recently started running seriously.  Discovered it is much better for weight loss.  Lost 35 lbs since January.  I run because I can.  I set my own goals and I achieve them.  I do not depend on anyone but myself.  It is a feeling of freedom out there running down the road.  Good luck on your running endeavors.  Your family may think you are crazy and that is because they do not understand the satisfaction you get from running.

    Upcoming in 2010

    GO! St. Louis Half Marathon

    2009 races

    Arnold Gobble Gobble 5K 24:08

    Fleet Feet Flat 5 mile 43:53

    Hillsboro Homecoming 5k 29:47

    "You either ran today or you didn't" 

  • PedDoc1 Pro 159 posts since
    Apr 25, 2008


    I have to laugh at your post.  I'm not laughing at you, but rather at your circumstances.  I've been very lucky.  I've exercised some all my life and ran competitively whilst in high school, so my family doesn't think I've lost it.  They just think I've become more extreme!



    I feel for you, though, when you say that their nay saying is interfering with your success.  I really, unfortunately, think that's unfair to you.  Your family is supposed to be the love of your life.  If you support them in all their crazy things, the least they can do is support you.  I agree with the above poster.  Ask why they're determined to give you such a hard time about something that will allow you to live a longer healthier and in the end more available life.  There are distinct benefits to them of you being healthy.  Life insurance is less.  Medical expenses are less.  Longevity is higher.  You might still be around to see great grandchildren.  All because you're taking charge of your life now and living more healthy.  The other thing I can recommend is to see if there are ways you can practice your new found interest without interfering too much with the family plan.  I usually run before sun up which allows me to continue to be available around the house as needed.  My long runs are performed during a time when the rest of the family is out of the house anyways.  



    So what if it is mid-life?  There are a lot of things we pick up in midlife that are good for us and become a permanent part of our lives.  Good luck!!






    05/09 Bridge the Gap, Quincy, Ill HM: 1:45:27
  • BooRadley41 Expert 42 posts since
    May 4, 2009


    Hey all Sorry I am late to this thread, but I have been busy lately.....   Ha mid life crissis... You bet it is.. And Im with you..... I started December 10th 08.... I ran in the snow of New York... With  Ice all over my hat.... 



    There is nothing wrong with getting into shape, (mind and body)  But let me just say.. This is a great outlet.. but family always comes  first.... And make sure they know that.. Im sure they do.... Just make sure your Love of running doesn't take you away from your family....






    Keep at it...



    three 5ks, One 8 miler, one 10k , one 15k....



  • Haselsmasher Legend 538 posts since
    May 25, 2009

    On the one hand I think it's fair to say my family thinks it's kind of nuts, however on the other hand they accept it as something that is part of me and, quite literally, I "need" to do.  I mean that last point on two levels.  I'm a happier, calmer person when I run (exercise in general).  But on another level my family has quite literally seen that my frequency of migraines is reduced when I'm running consistently. 


    So when I put on the gear and go out in 15 degree weather and it's snowing, they think I'm a bit crazy.  (I, on the other hand, look at it as an adventure.  The fact I don't let the weather beast win is a badge of honor for me.)



    "Kick off your high heel sneakers, it's party time."

    -- From the song FM by Steely Dan

  • BobTheNerd Amateur 41 posts since
    May 9, 2009


    It is a midlife challenge, not a midlife crisis.



    Midlife comes with its own set of challenges; that's for sure.  But it becomes a crisis only for those who do not respond well to the challenge.  It looks to me you and the others on the thread have done very well indeed, since getting fit is a pretty good response.






  • cyndi t Legend 1,061 posts since
    Aug 11, 2008


    Yep, they think I'm certifiable.  The only running I ever did up to a year ago (I'm now 45) was either to the refrigerator or the mall.  Now I run in the snow, the rain, the ice and through injuries (well that one wasn't very smart now was it).  They don't normally come to races (my daughter has only come to 2) they don't get it and they don't do it with me. But I don't care.  I could be having an affair, buying a fancy car, trying to compete with my 16 year old daugher but I'm not.  I'm loving every minute of this new life and it's just for me.  They benefit from the happier and new improved me.  That's good enough for them.  I do run though in the very early am so as not to mess up the family quality time.  I think it only becomes a problem if things interfere.  We work together to make sure it doesn't.  Will they ever get it, nope, not unless they start to hey, that's why I joined this communitee, people here get it!







  • bellsway Legend 343 posts since
    Jan 28, 2009

    I've run in the snow, when it was 8 degrees (balmy for some of you out there), up mountains.  As a matter of fact, I'm late in answering your post because I'm just finishing up my annual  birthday challenge.  This year I decided to take 4 days and complete the equivalent of an Ironman triathlon.  I'm slow and there are not enough hours in a day to do it all at once. GROAN Tomorrow is the last 11 miles of the run.  But I think that's not too shabby for a 62nd birthday.  Luckily my family runs so they just roll their eyes at my nutsy birthday challenges.  They think it keeps me young and hopefully around to enjoy my future grandkids.  My doctor told me I was her poster patient.  So, if you're nuts, there are a lot of us nuts out there. Don't throw in the towel!  Hopefully your family will come around when they see what great shape you're in.

    Plan your run and then run your plan.

  • NissaRLTW Rookie 12 posts since
    Nov 21, 2007


    I don't think your nuts.. but then again, you're probably asking the wrong group   I started running 5 years ago, my husband is convinced I'm nuts.. but then again, I think he's nuts for flying airplanes... its a matter of perspective. 



    It is really rough when it feels like the family doesn't support you though. My husband started complaining about my running and cycling more and more recently.. it got to the point where we had to have a long talk. Then I found out he felt like we couldn't do anything because of my running. When I let him know that, if he wanted to do something, I'd be OK with skipping a run to do something with the family.. that helped. He's complaining less and i'm making sure not to go out to breakfast and hang out for a long time after my long runs and cycling on the weekend.



    Maybe you can talk to your family and ask them what the real issue is? could be jealousy, maybe they feel like they're taking second place... you may need to be a little flexible in your running to maintain family harmony, but it can work, and its worth it... it makes it so difficult when the family support isn't there.. hang in there though..



    RE: not being able to afford races.. some track clubs and racing organizations will do discounted race entries if you volunteer to help out at some of the events. And volunteering may be a good way to get your family involved in your running life. 



  • spicegeek Community Moderator 2,563 posts since
    Jan 14, 2007


    I would talk to your family explain to them why this is important toyou and that you feel they are not supporting you - I doubt they realise they are upsetting you and I bet they are lot prouder of you than you know






    Frankly I don`t care what my family think I`m doing this for me



    NYC Marathon          Nov 1 2009     -   4:03:13 ( 9:17 mm )

    NYC Half Marathon   Aug 16 2009   -   1:55:38 ( 8:49 mm )

    1 mile -  7:07                             10K     - 52:58 ( 8:32 mm)

    4 mile - 31:35 ( 7:53 mm)          8K      - 42:28 ( 8:32 mm)

    15K -     1:22:02 ( 8:49 mm)

    Find the Half Marathon Team on FACEBOOK

  • Urbster Legend 760 posts since
    May 27, 2008


    I'm 44.  The only relative I have that is supportive is my sister and she lives on the opposite coast,  She's done half marathons but she's more of a walker.  I remember how my mother would critize her all the time for working out.  She'd complain she was always in the gym, and ask me what's wrong with her that she needs to work out so much.  The last few years I've been in the gym a lot and running so now I get the song and dance from mom.   I've given up on getting support from the family.  I know they'll never understand it.  I'm very happy if I just get indifference.   There is a ton of support right here if you're looking for some.







  • dg12 Amateur 76 posts since
    Jul 12, 2007


    I know this must sound mean, but I asked my wife and mother inlaw when they laughlingly asked me if I was going thru a midlife crisis, and asked them what is wrong with them? Yeah I was ticked. My wife doesn't exercise and that was a jealous stab and she's doen a few sabotaging efforts with mockery.



    Recognize that even loved ones will become jealous of your valiant efforts to better yourself. You're investing in you longevity and RECREATION (regeneration to body and soul)..



  • crl8686 Legend 1,313 posts since
    Nov 11, 2007


    I'm 53, and I've been running since 1983 - that's 26 years, so running per se definitely isn't a midlife issue for me. However, deciding to do my first half marathon in 2007 admittedly had some elements of midlife issues. In addition to simply wanting to step up to a challenge of a longer distance after years of shorter races (5Ks/10Ks), I know I was also thinking a bit along the lines of "if I'm going to do this, I'd better do it soon, since I'm not getting any younger, and who knows what the future may bring...". Then I did another half marathon in 2008, for the pure challenge, to test myself - and also to prove to myself that the first time wasn't an aberration. This year I'm training for my first marathon and there's a bit of the same element of "if I'm going to undertake this challenge, I'd better do it now...who knows what may happen next year..."



    My family doesn't think I'm nuts, except if I get up at ~5 AM for a long workout before work. They're night owls and can't see doing anything besides sleeping at that hour. They do have issues if I do a long run that interferes (or gives the perception of interfering) with something else they want to do, but after some experience I've gotten better at negotiating my way around most of those. 



    2015 highlights...

    @ 5K: New Balance Palm Springs 5K, Palm Springs, CA, 24:32

    Angels Baseball Foundation 5K, Anaheim, CA, 24:24

    Pride of the Valley, Baldwin Park, CA, 24:28

    @ 10K: LA Chinatown Firecracker 10K, Los Angeles, CA, 52:15

    Great Race of Agoura - Old Agoura 10K, Agoura Hills, CA, 51:40

    Fiesta Days Run, La Canada, CA, 49:57

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