Wow! I am soo glad this thread it still going! I remember when it started...the original 200+ club with Debbie and AFMR. Then Wideguy was gracious enough to keep it going.
Anywho. I am back. I was training for a 60 miler walk and did it. 60 miles in 3 days and it was rough. I felt muscles ache all over that I didn't know I had. But that was in November. I was injured for a couple of weeks, took off to Puerto Rico for a week, cambe back Thanksgiving, did the Holidays and now it is the end of January.
I signed up for the Aramco houston 1/2 Mary that was 01/30/2011. But I knew how I felt after 15 miles of walking at the 3 day and I wasn't sure I could keep up the 13:45 minimum pace needed for the first 9 miles of the 1/2 mary. I lost my courage and didn't even attempt to train or run.
I signed up with some friends and my husband. Two of my friends, avid runners, did it and did well. My bestfriend didn't train because she had an MS relapse but was feeling better and ran but SAG'd at mile 5. My husband did not train and didn't run and neither did I.
I went on Saturday to pick up my packet (I wanted my Tshirt). and when I saw all the runners at the expo (over 35000 runners for this event), I was humiliated. I didn't even try. I didn't even attempt to train. and now I wanted to run but knew I would injure myself, if I did. So I walked around the expo and I must say I was a bit hurt. I went to several booths from vendors and they dismissed me. One said, "oh these are endurance bands for athletes and then turned away from me." The girl at the Tshirt counter, took my husbands packet and processed it and gave him his tshirt. I stood there with my packet and she walked away. So my huband said, excuse me, she needs her shirt. The girl said," Oh I am sorry, I didn't realize you were running." (I had a whole runners packet in my hand.) The tension eased when she saw that my name on my bib was "SeeFluffyRun". but then I just felt stupid because I didn't run...she was right in her first dismissal of me. I was also dismissed at a vendor who sold ear pieces that don't fall out when running. When I inquired about them, the man said, "Oh these are for runners who move around alot so that their earphones don't come out of their ears. You don't need them for regular use." To which I said, "I am a runner." He apologized but I should have apologized for lying.....I haven't run in about a month and in that month I ran maybe 2 times.
So on sunday when I went to the run to chear on my friends, I was upset with myself. And my bestfriend, that I thought was not going to run,,,,,was dressed to run. She didn't finish and said the SAG bus humiliated her because she asked to be picked up at mile 5 and was not injured (she just recovered from a relapse of MS...a week ago she could barely walk and had blind spots). And when I saw her after the race...she was disappointed. I told her don't be...you had the courage to start and that is important.
And then John Binghams quote that I have at the bottom of my siggy came to life for me. The miracle isn't that I finished...it is the fact that I had the courage to start. So that is my goal, to start. to just start.
So I am back. Sorry so long but you guys are the only ones I share this with. I try with hubby but he doesn't understand. He is 5'8", weighs 152 and can pick up running at any given time and just do it, it comes naturally to him (and he is a smoker). He will hear me but then try to fix me. Sometimes I don't want to be fixed.