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Ok so the following was what I wrote for my profile:
I am probably one of the least likely people you would ever expect to even try this.. and to be honest I'll only say I'm trying...
I'm pretty terrified I'll fail. I was the kid always picked last in gym class. I have alignment issues in my knees and had 3 major dislocations before I was 18.
I've lost 25 pounds since October through diet and moved from being obese into my healthy weight range. I am a goal setter. I make and set goals regularly. I truly believe that through small consistent changes I can achieve things, but I've NEVER had that be the case with anything related to sports or physical fitness.
I'm terrified of failing. I'm more terrified of not tryng. I'm 40. I've always wanted to feel powerful and strong. I'm terrified I never will.
My goal isn't extreme. I want to be able to run 5K. I don't need it to be fast, but I want to reach the point where I can do the full distance without walking. I'm going to start Wednesday.
I understand the above might sound a little emo drama, but actually only hints at how badly I'd like to be able to do this and how vulnerable I feel.
On one hand I feel very empowered by how well I've done on weight loss and believe I can do this. On the other I feel like to be invested and truly believe I can accomplish it is asking to be disappointed and to lose the confidence in myself I've gained.
I'm kind of embarassed to admit this, but I also try hard to be honest about who I am with myself.
Support is appreciated.
I don't think it's emo drama, I think it's honest and courageous. The more time you spend reading posts here, the more you'll see other people saying the same things, and wanting it with everything they've got.
Your post reminded me of a great quote I heard recently: Speak your own truth, even if your voice trembles.
You're part of a great, supportive, understanding running community now. WELCOME!
Started C25K October 18th, 2010 - Graduated December 28th, 2010
B210K: W5D1 February 18, 2011
I'm behind you, all the way from Tampa, FL. Welcome to the family, you'll see what I'm talking after your first race.
Race for the Booty Tri: 10/30/2011 (Second Place)
MADD Dash 5K: 19:51, 01/08/2011 (Males Age 20-24 winner)
Run With Pride 5K: 01/29/2011 (Second Place Overall)
Gasparrila Distance Classic: 02/26-27/2011 (Military Division Winner)
Central Florida Sprint Tri Series: 08/13/2011 (Division Winner)
"Win Without Boasting, Lose Without Crying," Dr. J
Very courageous post! I think you are selling yourself short. What I took away from your post is that it appears for every one positive thing you say about yourself, you follow it by two negative things. Everyone has there demons to conquer, and it has to come from within. During my brief time running, I have found that there is only one person to congratulate on your sucesses, or blame for your failures, and that is yourself. The key thing to remember is that Failure is a Choice. If it takes you more than one attempt to complete a scheduled run in your program, it can be two things. A set back that you will overcome, or a failure that makes you quit; it is your choice. You have suceeded in your weight loss, celebrate it and take that momentum on to your next goal of running a 5k. Time is on your side, take it slow and easy, and you will fulfill your goals. Like all things in life, preparation is key. Go to a running store and have them fit you with a quality pair of shoes. It makes all the difference in the world, and can prevent problems in the future. Listen to your body; if you are to sore or to tired, tomorrow is another day, and the schedule isn't written in stone. Every run is a small victory, enjoy them, as they only get more challenging. Remeber, you are not alone, as we have all been there in one capacity or another. For me, there are no easy runs, some are better than others, but remain committed, and persevere. Don't ask to be disappointed, it will surely happen. The question is how you will overcome it! Sorry for the ramble, flashback of my coaching days. I will leave you with a few quotes to assist you on your journey, and I cant wait to hear all about you finishing your 5k!
Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.
"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start."
The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a person's determination.
RUNNING DOES NOT BUILD CHARACTER, RUNNING REVEALS IT
Thanks a lot for all of the replies. The support means a lot. I also have my husband who is going to try doing the program with me (at my pace) and have told a small group of my closest friends what I am doing too. I'll keep everyone posted on how it goes!!
I am also starting the C25k program tonight, week 1 day 1, I have also lost about 45 lbs with about 30 lbs more to lose. You can do this, WE can do this. I have set myself a goal to run my first 5k before my 55th birthday, I have 5 months. I am going to participate in our local July 4th Race for the Cure 5K. Let's do this and prove to ourselves that we can!