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3037 Views 5 Replies Latest reply: Apr 25, 2011 8:18 AM by Dusty__11
Ron__295 Rookie 5 posts since
May 30, 2007
Currently Being Moderated

Apr 6, 2011 1:16 PM

Attitude Letter to Parents and Players

I sent an email out a few weeks ago while my 14U team had a couple of lackluster tournaments back to back.  It really seemed to strike a chord with the parents and players and I have never seen the boys play harder or with a better attitude and hustle than the past few weekends.  Maybe some of this can help you with you players and/or parents.

 

"The week off gives me a chance to send out an email as I do from time to time to explain what I am doing and why.

 

I have some unique experience in this business in that few people have coached previously a different 14U team and been so involved in assisting and watching my former players and own son get recruited by college baseball programs and pro scouts.

 

With my last team I noticed a change in several players during the 14U year.  When a lot of kids get older, they start to develop that teenage "I know everything and you don't know anything" mentality.  It is also a time when they develop more interests outside baseball.  Some of these are healthy and some not.  14-24 is commonly a time in a young man's life where he feels that the entire world revolves around him and the adults in their lives are there to support them and ensure their happiness.

 

This mentality can really hurt kids on their future endeavors.  I know that it hurt me when I was that age, as my own arrogance led me to tune out the coaches and I gradually stopped working hard and was distracted by other activities.  My coaches were on me about it, but I thought they were idiots and full of crap and were riding me all the time because they didn't like me.  I realized later, when it was too late, that they were trying to keep me from ruining my future.

 

With several of our players, all of whom have more talent than I had, I see them going down the same road.  This happened with my first team too.  Most of them I got all over and was really tough on them and put them in their place when they got out of line.  The parents we had on that team were really great because they always backed me up when I disciplined a kid.  That is the only way corrective actions works - when they are reinforced by parents.  If I do something to try and teach a kid a lesson on the field, if the parents blame me or are critical of me on the car ride home, then the lesson I tried to teach is completely undone.

 

I had a player on the first team named (Player X).  He was an unbelievable pitcher who threw 93 mph last year as a Junior and got a full scholarship to a Div I program.  He played for me from 9U-14U.  When he was 14, he started developing the attitude that some of our players are starting to show now.  He loafed on plays, didn't slide, didn't hustle, didn't run out popups, tossed his helmet and bat.  When I or another coach got on him he would mutter something disrespectful under his breath.

 

He wasn't the only one to do these things, but he was the only one whose parents didn't back me up.  They constantly made excuses for him and I was the "bad guy" who "didn't like" their son and "favored" the other kids.  They eventually quit the team Spring 14U.  He went onto another team where the coach allowed him to do these things because he was talented.

 

Player X ended up playing at 4 different high schools.  He lost the scholarship because of drugs.  A guy who could have made a million dollars this year is finished with baseball.  I really believe that was because his parents did not back up the simple things I was trying to teach him.

 

I have talked to many coaches of major college programs about what they look for.  When they come out to evaluate a player you rarely even know they are there.  Character is how you behave when you think nobody is watching.  Coaches know you will play hard and have a good attitude if you know they are watching.

 

At that level, schools have their pick of hundreds of immensely talented kids.  What it comes down to almost every time is not baseball ability but their attitudes and how they carry themselves.  Whether they give 100% all the time.  How they react to their coaches and teammates.  How they behave after making an error, striking out, or losing.  These are the things that decide which players get scholarships.

 

So many other things get looked at as well.  I have seen kids lose scholarships because their hair was too long, their shirt was untucked, they were earrings or jewelry, they walk around with headphones on.  Increasingly coaches are looking at sites like facebook, myspace and twitter.  A lot of the stuff that kids put on there to impress their friends or girls is costing them scholarships.

 

When I pull your son out of a game, or bench him because of a bad attitude or lack of effort, I am not doing it out of anger.  I am doing it to try and teach him a lesson and keep him from doing it later when a college or pro scout is watching him.  This has nothing to do with us winning and losing, and everything to do with me trying to help them as individuals.

 

- Ron Filipkowski

14U Meteors

Author, TRAVELBALL book, http://bit.ly/TravelballBook

  • Chalkline Legend 543 posts since
    May 30, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    1. Apr 6, 2011 7:13 PM (in response to Ron__295)
    Re: Attitude Letter to Parents and Players

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/rf/image_606w/WashingtonPost/Content/Production/Blogs/early-lead/Images/2011_Hall_of_Fame_Class_Basketball_00587.jpg?uuid=mYr3NF-MEeCdxiFLG98fTw

     

    Still some make it through the cracks

  • TG. Legend 954 posts since
    Jul 25, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    2. Apr 15, 2011 5:36 PM (in response to Ron__295)
    Re: Attitude Letter to Parents and Players

    I coached through 18U softball and 16U baseball. Conduct and attitude was discussed in a team meeting when practice started. Then all I had to do was remind violators of the rules.

  • ThePitchingAcademy Amateur 11 posts since
    Mar 30, 2010
    Currently Being Moderated
    3. Apr 17, 2011 10:44 AM (in response to Ron__295)
    Re: Attitude Letter to Parents and Players

    Attitude really is everything.  Tha's unfortunate that this boys attitude got the best of him.  Most coaches nowadays are not willing to put up with a player with a bad attitude, regardless of talent.  I teach High School Leadership classes and the first thing we talk about is attitude because it is so important.  Leadership starts with attitude all the way down to how you shake someone's hand and look at them in the eye when you first meet someone.

  • NathanQ Legend 378 posts since
    Nov 12, 2008
    Currently Being Moderated
    4. Apr 18, 2011 2:38 PM (in response to Ron__295)
    Re: Attitude Letter to Parents and Players

    Kids are never too young to show a good attitude.   There's a 12yo kid in our LL who made the 9-10 All Star team, but was left off the 10-11yo team. But he played travel last fall, learned a lot, grew more than half a foot, and has been looking like a likely AS this season so far. Then comes last weekend, when his team was playing against the team of the probable 12yo AS manager. The kid was having a good game until the wheels came off the cart. 99% of that was not his fault, in fact, he was having a good game, but once his team started getting crushed, he was among those who acted like they had given up.  I talked to the opposing manager the next day and that seemed to be his biggest takaway. He mentioned this kid dogging it a couple times and seemed really dissapointed about it.

  • Dusty__11 Amateur 16 posts since
    Nov 23, 2002
    Currently Being Moderated
    5. Apr 25, 2011 8:18 AM (in response to Ron__295)
    Re: Attitude Letter to Parents and Players

    Ron,

    You are so right on! My son plays college ball ALSO. The head coach of the college saw him play. He didn't start, he made an error at SS....and the guy TOLD him he liked how he "handled" himself. ESPECIALLY after the error. (he came back and made the play on essentially the same type ground ball).

     

    I cannot emphasize enough to the dads out there that all you need is one good game with the right person watching and boom! you get an offer. So, the answer is act like every game someone IS watching. Because they just might be.

     

    Good memo! Keep preaching!

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