I am wondering a lot these days.... but my number one "wonder" these days is about motivation. I know that some people are constantly motivated. I get that... but what about the rest of us. What keeps us going? I have a tendency to be gung-ho .... then dwindle down.... gung-ho ....then dwindle down. It's a pattern. Is this typical for alot of people? Am I just looking to not feel alone in my efforts to stay motivated over the long haul? YES I AM! I'm not sure what it would take to keep me consistent. Maybe this is just how I'm designed. To make the point... the bottom line.... is that I haven't been walking like I should be. I'm not defeated. It's not that I want to give up. I just haven't felt like it. (read.. I've been a big baby... and haven't done anything that isn't perfectly comfortable) Ok ok... I KNOW that doesn't help walk that damn 5 mile bridge. I know it doesn't help me lose weight. It's not like I don't know these things..... it's just hard to stay consistent. Not much of a positive blog post... but mostly just the truth... fleeing my body via my fingers to the keyboard. Ok Universe.... direct me.. guide me.. to get off my BUTT this week!
I've been successful in that I've walked every day at work... on my breaks. However, my evenings haven't been consistent. I don't really count my daytime hike around the building on my breaks. I count the evening walks.. and I only completed 2 of them. My food hasn't been that great either. So do I quit? Throw in the towel? NO WAY! Even though my nutrition hasn't been in order today... I did stop by and walk with my brother tonight. I did this just to be held accountable. I was afraid I wouldn't go on my own and I wasn't ready to risk that. If I have to make a special trip.... I will... just to hold myself accountable for what I have to do to LIVE.
Mentally I feel a little screwed out of my weekend. I have been letting life and people get in my way. A dear friend reminded me tonight that this journey is all about me.... and to keep focused and "run with my life". Thanks "friend"... I needed the kick in the butt!
Ok.. people.. on to a new week... one that will make me shine!!!!
I've had a rough couple of days. Between not feeling well and dealing with hormonal issues...it's been a rollar coaster. The one thing I know for sure is I have to stay focused on the big prize. I wanna conquer that bridge. I had a high speed come apart tonight with someone I asked to walk with me. It made me realize that my goals are exactly that... my goals. As I've said before.. I'm limited ..on how far I can walk right now. I have made great strides this past week...however I have a long way to go. When my walking partner was looking at this as a stroll on a Sunday evening... I just couldn't cope. I guess I will ..for now.. just walk on my own. I can't be held back anymore than I am already. I guess I sound like a *****...or selfish... but I know... ultimately.. that 5 mile bridge doesn't care if I walk it or not... BUT I DO CARE! This is a selfish journey... and it's about time I got a lil selfish. This is about me... this is about me living. .not dying.. this is about me.. setting and reaching a goal.
This is definately.. my goal... my journey..step up... or get outta the way....
My goals for the week: Walk just a little bit further, keep an eye on my physical/mental connection, strive to be more conscious of my nutrition, and above all else... keep the faith!
I guess they call this the "honeymoon" stage. The point where you are all gung-ho and ready to take on the world. The point of planning and figuring and plotting your course to get to the other side. I pop in here every evening to check out the posts and blogs. Reading with amazement ... all the stories of training, marathons, triathalons, cycling etc. Seems other-worldly to me. See I can only walk for about 10 to 15 minutes at a time right now. I'm so out of shape, it hurts to do any more. I posted a thread asking for advice and got some great encouragement. I know this is a long journey I'm on... I just have to keep my eye on the prize. Will I ever get to run? Will I ever do a marathon? Will I ever get to get down and dirty in this active lifestyle? I don't have that as a goal right now. My prize... is doing the Mackinac Bridge Walk in 2013. I'll be 50 and I think it would be an amazing gift to myself to be able to walk that 5 mile bridge. This is only my beginning. I have alot of weight to lose and alot of body to transform.