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Good day overall

Posted by Wheelokent on Feb 24, 2010 11:37:23 AM

Today is a good day and it is not. I feel pretty good. My weight is up a little bit, but my running endurance is much better and I see significant increase in muscle mass in upper and lower body from weight training. My regular workouts while I am living here in a hotel consists of 30 to 40 minutes of running, a 2 mile bike sprint and 30 to 40 minutes of weight training. I get a least 3 week days of this and then when I am home on the weekend, I run and do a little weights. I'm pretty pleased with my progress and not dreading my 10K at the end of March as much as I had earlier. It's funny that there was a period in my last year of college that I ran more than 10K per day, 5 to 7 days a week. This weekend, I'm going to do a 10K at a moderate pace. I have a perfect, kinda hilly route to give me a good test of how my bridge run will do.


I can't wait to get back on a bicycle. I could do it some now on the weekends, but in the area where I live during my weekly commute it is still snowing, iced and too much traffic to ride on the road after dark. Up here, I mostly stick to sidewalks and trails. I'm right outside of Chicago and the drivers here are the most aggressive I have dealt with. It will be interesting to see how my better fitness will affect my riding.


I need to work on some upper back exercises. Trying to strengthen my neck/yoke for the road bike. I also need to get my bike fitted. I don't think I am set up correctly. I'm getting too much neck, arm and foot pain.


So, I said it a good day and not. Well, the not is because I started remembering a few days ago that it was my old girlfriend's birthday today, 2/24. She's turning 40 and I could not resist the opportunity to wish her Happy Birthday. Before I had her block me on Facebook a couple months ago, I had seen her email address and threw it in my address book. Probably not the greatest thing if I knew it was causing me heartache to talk to her, but I knew one day I would want to speak to her again. Well, I did send her a well wish email and said that I hope she and her family have a great celebration. Short, simple.


I truly hope she does not respond.


Boy was that a lie. I would love to strike up a friendship with her again, but I know I cannot handle it correctly. I only want to know her and definitely don't want to interfere with her family, husband, etc.


So, it is not such a good day because I am so conflicted; not for romance, but just about friendship. I could take this as kind of a milestone. I knew back when she and I were friends on FB that I wanted to wish her a happy birthday for her 40th. Well, that's done and I feel less pressure (internally) to contact her again. She wasn't around for my 40th, she could probably not care less. She was well into her marriage and I had been less than a good boyfriend. She'd probably had much better than me after we broke up. She's forgiven me and I'm trying to move on and believe that. The one thing I can do now is give her freedom from my selfish needs to talk to her. I will always miss her kindness and strength.

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