All day I’ve been thinking is Thursday. The beginning of the day was gloomy just like it was the morning sky. I had a migraine, some flu symptoms remaining, and the feat to wake up my son to go to school and endure all the excuses that come along. The thought of job insecurity simply ended up obscuring my morning and sooner than I had expected I had serious doubts.
Last time I wrote on my training blog, I reported being under flu simptoms and doubted I could continue my training with the same intensitiy. Undoubtly I endured the Sunday and Monday dissappointed just staring at my bike and feeling how my body weakened. These two forced rest days felt like two weeks of inactivity. Sunday was such a calamity; I hated myself and the world and suffer deliriums because of Nyquil overdose. On Monday, on the other hand, was kind of my redemption day, I cleaned the R3-SL and went out for diner with my GF. We simply pig-out in style and best I got happy drunk and self-declared cure from the flu.
I gotta tell you that on Tuesday I looked on forward to resume training. However, once again I felt victim of my poor planification and my ever lasting family and work responsibilities despite having a good start. My manager communicated me about a work opportunity; she made clear her intention to have a meeting to review some material. Work is work and the money is very good because without I will not be who I am or have what I have. No brainer. I decided to stay wide open to meet her at her time convienience; the root of the problem became that she never specified our meeting time. At lunch time, I rushed to the gym and completed a 45-minute core session then quickly headed back to my work desk. Surprise, surprise… She still didn’t have a definite time for us to meet. Two hours later GF showed up to say too many times she was hungry and was asking about travel and weekend plans all these while I was trying to find a way to pay my rent. At the end, I settled with one hour around-the-neightborhood bike ride which left me upset rather than fulfilled. At night, I had to host my photography group meeting and the opportunity to go to the gym at night was pretty much null.
Sometimes I imagine those who have no family or pay no rent because they have the excuse for not to work. Trust me I know many of these individuals. These weasels, leechers and scoundrels have the bad habit of complaining and line up all sort of excuses for not trying hard. Boy oh boy... If I at least have the nerve to have an excuse.
This preparation for the Tour of Colorado is challenging, so far it’s frustrating not to have the time to go for an endless bike ride. Job insecurity, end-of-the-month season, a ten-year old to name the few are some of my biggests challenges. Add to this my chronic hip injury and my condition of being “soft” a.k.a prone to break so easily. I certainly don’t have any nerve left to worry about me being chubby or that my health insurance was cancelled. So you tell me how can someone who doesn’t pay rent have lost of excuses for not trying? If something disinguish me from my family (or those wanna be’s) is that I had transformed what can be my excuse into a challenge. Yes, I'm well-known to my friends as someone who always is complaining about something and has too many regrets. I love to complain, yes too ***** about life injustices and such. All this ranting is pure motivation which pretty much have enabled me to get the job done and be hungry, thirsty and wanting more. It’s not easy although I make it look easy. On top, something I’m certain life ain’t going to get any easy but harder. The best I could do is to have a razor sharp mentality and always have my comtemptous auto-critic to give me hell for not giving my best.
My above-mentioned stand has been my mantra throughout the day. Sure, it was gloomy and I felt sick again, yes I did rush my legs workout again because my stupid manager… But I found an opportunity in the middle of day to ride my bike for 1:20 hr. And what is best the night is wide open for me to return to the gym and do at least 45 minute of upper body conditioning. Now I don’t have any excuses for not trying hard. If I'm sore tomorrow so be it, this is my only opportunity and I gotta make the most of it!