I finished my 1/2 marathon. It wasn't the result that I had originally hoped for, but with an injury that kept me from running for nearly a month leading right up to the race, I was more than happy with my results. I ran the whole thing in 2:57 -- meeting my most basic goals of running it all and completing it in under 3 hours. I did it! Woo hoo!
Now the question becomes, what do I run for now? I have kept myself busy by scheduling shorter races, but I need to keep my motivation up. I need to remember that I am doing this for me, for my health, my sanity, and for my daughter. I so desperately want her to grow up with the confidence to try things without the fear of failure. I want her to learn to define success in her terms, something I'm just learning to do myself.
My running has become about so much more than seeing if I could complete a half marathon. It's become a social outlet for me, a way to relax and connect with people, to destress. It's become an identity for me -- people are starting to see me as a runner now, and I think I'm actually considering myself one, too.
I still love and hate running. I still have to drag myself out to run somedays -- many days -- but it's becoming more automatic, more natural.
Maybe Clare will grow up knowing her mother as a runner after all.