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9924 Views 64 Replies Latest reply: Jun 19, 2008 3:25 PM by NorthernElf RSS 1 2 3 ... 5 Previous Next
Bugs34 Amateur 598 posts since
Dec 14, 2007
Currently Being Moderated

Apr 21, 2006 11:54 PM

Tired of people telling me I shouldn't get any thinner

Do people rag on your for your thinness? I have dropped 16 pounds since November. I am small, now, but I don't feel thin. I'm 5'5", 34, 119 pounds and about a size 2-4. Honestly I would still like to loose a couple of pounds but those pounds have been a struggle. My doctor (who is very thin) just said don't get to 110.

So many people have lectured me that I shouldn't get any thinner, but when they tell me this, all I can think is, "but you could really loose about 40 pounds, who are you to give me advice?" I sometimes wonder if they aren't giving me the lecture so they don't have too feel the need to drop their own weight.

I also think that being overweight has become so the norm, that when somone is thin, they are viewed as unhealthy just because they aren't average.

  • divechief Legend 359 posts since
    Aug 14, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    1. Apr 22, 2006 12:07 AM (in response to Bugs34)
    Re: Tired of people telling me I shouldn't get any thinner

    quote:


    Originally posted by Bugs34:


    I also think that being overweight has become so the norm, that when somone is thin, they are viewed as unhealthy just because they aren't average.


     



    I think there is a lot of truth to the above.

    BMI is a poor scale, but with the information you posted, it's about all we have to work with. You are close to the bottom of the "healthy range" If you are small boned, you can probably safely dip well below the bottom of the so called healthy range. on the other hand, if you are large boned and muscular you could be underweight where you are.

    A big question is why do you want to lose more weight? if it is for looks or ego. I would argue that you really are fine where you are. If on the otherhand You are a competitive runner, a couple pounds might gain you a couple minutes in a marathon.

    If your friends and family say you are too skinny it may be jealously. If a runner says you are too skinny pay attention.
    Dave

  • TheMountaineer Amateur 197 posts since
    Mar 13, 2005

    Why do you really need to lose more weight?

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  • marigold7 Rookie 30 posts since
    Dec 17, 2005

    I wouldn't worry about what others say. I am 5'4'' 116lb.  MY MOTHER is 5'7' 115lbs at 50 years old.  She works at it a little by being very active.  I am rarely at the office but when I go there someone will make a comment but then in another conversation they will say they only eat out or have not been to the gym in ages.  I often have wanted to say hey if you want to eat basically poison and sit on your a$$ what do you expect to look like.

  • DFMAR50 Rookie 86 posts since
    Sep 30, 2005

    I'm definitely not what you would call thin, but I did lose about 35 pounds about three years ago and I got some of that same kind of feedback - "you're getting too thin, you don't look good, that's not healthy, etc ...."  always from folks who were pretty seriously overweight themselves.  I chalked that up to kind of a misery loves company thing.

    From what I can tell, your weight seems perfect for your height - but I would say when in doubt trust your doctor.

  • Laura on a bike099 Rookie 183 posts since
    Feb 22, 2005

    i think its so interesting that its absolutely fine to comment on someone being to thin but not on being to fat.  weight is weight and its nobodies business but your own as long as you aren't harming yourself.  I would let people know how i feel about it too.

  • jrich7970 Rookie 231 posts since
    Oct 1, 2007

    I got this frequently when I lost 60 lbs a few years back...Once you settle on a weight and stay there, you can point to the fact that you haven't lost any weight in xxxx months as proof that you're not aneorexic, or something, which is what they tried to pin on me.

    Also, not that I'm the biggest fan of the BMI charts, but I also pointed themthat my height/weight 5' 10' and 150 lbs was smack dab in the middle, so it wasn't like I was at the low end of the scale.

    I do have a lot of bones and veins showing though...

    They're just shocked by your change, that's all. They will lay off after a while.


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    Jeff

  • jlewis351 Rookie 5 posts since
    Dec 14, 2007

    I started running at the beginning of this year which has helped me lose weight.  I'm 6'3 and I started at 259 which according to bmi is obese.  Now I'm down to 235, but I want to get down to 200 - 205. 

    I hung out with some friends that I haven't seen in a while and the first thing they commented on was that I look like a little boy because I've lost too much weight, and I have chicken legs. They said that some people just don't look good fit.

    I am actually quite proud of my progress with running, losing weight and weight training. I'm trying to lose weight the right way with an all around approach that includes eating right, cardio and weight tranining.

    These people are overweight and I agree that they are probably just jealous.  It still hurts when I get ridiculed like that, and I didn't have the guts to say anything.  I didn't tell them that I plan on losing even more weight.

  • dickt Rookie 27 posts since
    Jul 10, 2003
    Currently Being Moderated
    8. Apr 22, 2006 10:12 AM (in response to Bugs34)
    Re: Tired of people telling me I shouldn't get any thinner

    I hear this constantly, but I only hear it from people who are overweight, thin people never tell me that I'm too thin.

  • rencal Rookie 1 posts since
    Apr 21, 2006
    Currently Being Moderated
    9. Apr 22, 2006 10:21 AM (in response to Bugs34)
    Re: Tired of people telling me I shouldn't get any thinner

    yup...happened to me too. and it was also only heavy friends who said it to me. my fit friends told me how great i looked. i too was ok on the bmi scale. in fact, i just recently got back into running like i used too and my goal is to get back to the "too thin" me!!!!!

  • mountainlake Rookie 73 posts since
    Dec 14, 2007

    If I were you, the first thing I'd ask myself is if I go around telling people that I want to lose weight.  If so, at your weight, you are just asking for comments.

    The next thing I'd ask myself is why I wanted to lose more weight. Is it a specific area to tone up? If so, strength training is the best answer. Is it because I get a high from losing weight? Is it because someone wants me to weigh less? If it's either of these two latter answers, that could signal a problem. I think you should really consider why you want to lose more weight - do some soul searching. Is it a healthy reason (as in, not propelled by insecurity or fear or other unhealthy motives)? If it's a healthy reason, then you have no need to fear, just listen to your doctor and your body.

    Unless you are skin & bones, or unless you are constantly talking about wanting to lose more weight, no one should be commenting on your weight. You can simply tell them, "My weight is between me & my doctor, and as long as we are satisfied, I'm happy."

    The only comment I have ever made about someone's weight is "WOW, you look great."  I can't see making any other comment.

  • ferrellk Rookie 70 posts since
    Nov 22, 2003

    There is a definite double standard when it comes to commenting on people's appearance.

    It is a definite NO-NO to tell someone they look heavy. However, it seems that everyone thinks it is A-OK to comment on someone's apparent "thinness". I have borne the brunt of thin comments for most of my life. I have learned to bite my tongue, but in reality it is infuriating. "How'd you get so thin?" someone will ask? And I want to reply "How'd you get so fat?" They'd be shocked at my rudeness if I did. But it would be giving them a taste of their own medicine.

    Again, however, if you are running around pinching non-existant belly fat and despairing over how you "want to lose a few more pounds"...you are opening yourself up to being commented to.

  • Nathan Arizona Rookie 13 posts since
    Sep 3, 2004

    I've lost some  weight in the past three months, and I get this some. What's interesting is that I'm nowhere near the too thin line.  If you use  BMI (and I know its limitations), I'm at the top end of "normal" (6"1 - 177lbs). 

    Also, I've read that 50 years ago, the average man's waist was 30". I'm a 32".

    I think we've gotten so overweight as a society that "normal" is a lot bigger than it used to be.

    Forget what people say and move on.

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  • punkie Rookie 45 posts since
    Dec 14, 2007

    I think that this is a very difficult question to answer.  The people that "rag" on you for being too thin might be truly concerned for your welfare.  It depends on how you look.  Does your face look "gaunt" (do other people think so), or do you look healthy?  There is a fine line between wanting to loose those last few pounds and developing an anorexic mindset.  Please don't be offended by this, I'm not implying that this is the case with you.  I don't have any personal experience with an eating disorder, but have been extremely thin all of my life, and have had people comment on my weight. The older I got, the less I cared what people thought.  However, I have some friends that have had eating disorders, and it is a terrible thing to fall into. 

    I wouldn't immediately dismiss people's comments and attribute them to jealousy, but would take a close look at my motivations for wanting to lose the extra pounds.

  • Ice Cream Rookie 548 posts since
    Dec 28, 2003

    At 5'6" and 116 pounds, I get the comment, too.  I usually answer, if it comes from an overweight person: "I understnad that you think it's OK to comment on someone's weight.  I will do what I consider polite and not comment on yours."

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