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6529 Views 72 Replies Latest reply: Apr 10, 2010 9:46 PM by TG. 1 2 3 ... 5 Previous Next
Kidz n Sports Pro 76 posts since
Jun 24, 2002
Currently Being Moderated

Apr 1, 2010 10:50 AM

Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams 

Tonight on Kidz "n" Sports my topic of discussion will be about coaches who have their own kids on the team. I would love to have your input and you may even be invited to join me on the show.

 

What has been your "Daddy Ball" experience - good or bad?

 

Are you currently or recently been a coach with your own son or daughter on your team?

 

I am not looking to "out" anyone here. But this is a subject that I think needs to be discussed.

 

You do not need to mention specific teams or names. First names only. Send your email to coachmike@kidznsports.com. Indicate if you will be available Thursday night between 6 - 8 PM PDT (CA Time).

 

Tune into Kidz "n" Sports between 6:00 - 8:00 PM Pacific Daylight Time on the internet at www.AdrenalineRadio.com.

 

You can call the show at 1-800-405-6425.

 

Next week I will be discussing Budgets Affecting School Sports Programs.

 

 

Kidz "n" Sports

  • majsbjc Amateur 22 posts since
    May 30, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    1. Apr 1, 2010 12:29 PM (in response to Kidz n Sports)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    Yes I have coached my kids. It can be good and bad. Both will tell you they are held to a higher standard which may not be fair. However life isn't fair.

     

    The oldest boy wasn't the best or most talented on his teams. He wasn't the SS or the #3 hitter but was good enough to start. He sat the bench if/when his performance merited such action. It wasn't easy for him or I during those times.

     

    The youngest plays the middle infield and hits in the #3 hole. He does so because he is that good for his age. Local, district, and even at the big national tournaments we travel to he still performs at a high level. My only issue with him is that he gets emotional at times when he fails. I don't have much tolerance for tears.

     

    The bottom line is a parent/coach needs to realistic about their child's talent and skill level.

     

     

  • ThePitchingAcademy Amateur 11 posts since
    Mar 30, 2010
    Currently Being Moderated
    2. Apr 1, 2010 2:22 PM (in response to majsbjc)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    It's certainly okay to coach your own kids as long as you treat them like every other player on the team.  I have three girls and not about ready to coach softball yet, lol; however if I had a boy I would love the opportunity. I think we would not have the support from many of the volunteer coaches if their children weren't involved.  Many coaches coach because their kids play.

    Many players also play on a couple of teams with all of the leagues out there.  I think if players play for their parents on one team they should get the opportunity to play on another team with a different coach to have different experiences.

  • NathanQ Legend 378 posts since
    Nov 12, 2008

    The upper levels and travel ball are different, but there can be no LL without Daddy Ball.  We are a fairly big league - 60 teams from Tee-ball through Seniors. This year we have exactly 1 coach or manager without a son, grandson, or nephew on his team.

  • THECOACH__44 Legend 289 posts since
    May 30, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    5. Apr 1, 2010 7:56 PM (in response to Kidz n Sports)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    I coached both of my son's teams at one time or another. I must admit that I really worked them hard because I never wanted to be accused of Daddyball. Of course, it happened once. The Dad of a kid who was a yr older than THE ELDEST complained that his son should be playing 2b (where THE ELDEST played) instead of 3b. The kid couldn't carry THE ELDEST's jock but Daddies are sometimes blind. BTW daddy drove 200 miles from where he was working to confront me on the field after a game and tell me he was going to "whup my a##." His son had called him and whined that I had called him stupid. This guy was 5'6 140". I was 6'1 180 with a fungo in my hand. I pointed out to him that I didn't call him 'stupid'. He was moping at 3b because he wanted to play 2b. There was 2 out and a runner at 3b, A grounder to him and he threw it home. I pointed out that that was a stupid play and he needed to get his head out of his bu##. Then I told him it wasn't a good idea for him to perform this a## whipping on the LL field so I would meet him at the bar down the street. I would buy the beers and at any time he desired to whup me we could go out back and git it on.

     

    He of course, didn't show. He got to tell his kid how he had shown his coach how the cow ate the cabbage. LOL!!!

     

    If you use my story please mention my website

    TIPS FROM THE COACH

  • TG. Legend 954 posts since
    Jul 25, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    6. Apr 1, 2010 10:34 PM (in response to NathanQ)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    I coached my daughter from 7/8 rec through showcase softball. At age fifteen I decided it was the end of the road coaching my son. He was a stubborn about listening to me as a coach at that age.

     

    I was always very objective about my kids. If someone was better at short, that person played short not my kids. Sometimes I was told I was excessively objective. I once dropped my son to 9th in the third game for going 0-fer in the first two leading off.

     

    The one demand I had of my kids was they had to be role models for the team. I couldn't expect the other players to act better than my kids.

     

    When I became an assistant on a 16U team my son played on he had to deal with daddyball. It was so obvious the head coach's son asked why he started at short over my son. My son still started. Just not at short.

     

    I was asked to be a volunteer assistant in high school softball and middle school baseball. I passed on it so my kids could have the freedom to not play for me part of the time. It also allowed them to win their positions on their teams without anyone saying it's because of dad.

  • baseballmom04 Amateur 9 posts since
    Apr 2, 2010
    Currently Being Moderated
    7. Apr 2, 2010 6:00 AM (in response to TG.)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    I think parents should NOT be allowed to caoch their own kids. I pulled my kid out of a game last night because of daddy ball. I will never allow any of my kids {and I have 4 boys}to play for this city organization again!!! My son sat out 2 innings in the first game and by the 5th game they had him sitting out again. Now heres the deal, I dont mind my child sitting out in order but ALL the kids should sit their time out so all get even playing time.

    NOT ONE of the COACHES KIDS sat out not one time out of all 5 games!My son showed up for all practices and on time and one of the coaches son played on a dirt pile a whole hour of one of the practices. Outside the fence now. When he got ready he came in went to the front of the line to practice batting and they just let him and never said a word to the kid. I mean come!!

    Sports is all these kids have to keep them occupied and they have to work just has hard if not harder just to sit on the bench because of the dang daddy ball!?!?

    Yea, I'm mad!

  • THECOACH__44 Legend 289 posts since
    May 30, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    8. Apr 2, 2010 7:37 AM (in response to THECOACH__44)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    You are what is known as a PITA. Pain In The A## parent. Your behavior will follow and negatively impact your son's baseball experience. I suggest that you drop your son off at the ballpark and let him be a member of the team while you go shopping.

  • TG. Legend 954 posts since
    Jul 25, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    9. Apr 2, 2010 7:43 AM (in response to THECOACH__44)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    If parents didn't coach youth sports there wouldn't be youth sports. Far more kids are playing than when I was a kid. We don't live in an era where many people coach when their kids aren't involved.

     

    Kids should not get equal playing time once kid pitch ball starts. This is when it's time to learn a life lesson. It's time to start earning your spot on the field. If a kid doesn't like his situation he should work harder, not pout.

     

    In a majority of cases in youth ball the sons of the coaches are the best players. Why? For the same reason their dads coach. Their dads tend to know the game. They love the game. They work with their kids on the game away from the team. When my son was in LL I hit him 500 grounders a week away from the team. He practiced blocking and proper technique for retrieving wild pitches as a catcher away from the team. He took batting practice at least every other day away from the team.

     

    The parents who whine "it's not fair" to their kids and pull them away from the field are teaching them an awful life lesson. When the going get's tough, whine and quit. What happens when the kid gets in the real world and someone gets an undeserved promotion ahead of him? Will he wilt or be strong. You're teaching him to wilt at a young age.

     

    As a kid I once whined about daddyball to my father. He told me to shut up and play ball. Of course as a graduation present from high school in 1942 he was promoted to a battlefield. He didn't see daddyball in kids sports as a big deal.

  • Rich_Ives Legend 1,283 posts since
    May 25, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    10. Apr 2, 2010 8:07 AM (in response to buckhead)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    You beat me to it.

     

    Mom - coaches avoid picking/drafting kids with problem parents.

  • baseballmom04 Amateur 9 posts since
    Apr 2, 2010
    Currently Being Moderated
    11. Apr 2, 2010 8:31 AM (in response to Rich_Ives)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    First of all we are NOT talking about middle or high school kids here. We are takling about a bunch of 9-11 yr olds. Parents like you guys are what takes the fun out of baseball. Those kids that age should learning the rules of baseball and having fun while doing it. And today so many parents put so much pressure on their kids to play and be the best by the time they do get to middle or high school they quit! And to the guy that hits the 500 balls away from practice, you watch and see if your kid dont quit and despite you for being so hard on him/her. Now further more, if my son was not as good as the other boys I dont expect him to be a starter but by god i did not pay 100.00+ for my son to sit on the bench!!! And my son has never complained one time about being on the bench. so to adress the "PITAP" You are what is known as a "FUMF". FIGURE THAT ONE OUT SMART A**!

  • baseballmom04 Amateur 9 posts since
    Apr 2, 2010
    Currently Being Moderated
    12. Apr 2, 2010 8:35 AM (in response to baseballmom04)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    Its just to bad, we the parents cant check out these coaches a little more and pick our on coaches then  we wouldnt have to deal with this selfish behavior. And to the ones that responded and think Im wrong, well I bet your a dad that coaches some daddy ball. hmmm wonder if i am correct?

  • IZGLER Amateur 19 posts since
    Jun 22, 2009
    Currently Being Moderated
    13. Apr 2, 2010 9:12 AM (in response to TG.)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    baseballmom, I am a dad/coach and am sensitive to fairness and making sure the kids give me 100% during practice, show up on time, and don't play in dirt piles.  I'm harder on my kid than I should be, and I have to pull back sometimes and remember he is just a kid and is behaving and trying just as hard as everybody else.

     

    What is missing from your complaint is an evaluation of the kids' talent levels, which indicates that you are solely focused on YOUR kid.  The reality is that the manager's responsibility is to put a winning team out on the field and to make sure that everybody gets the appropriate playing time based on their skill level and any other criteria they think is important.  In LL at that age, a player must play a minimum of 6 defensive outs and 1 at bat assuming the game finishes 6 innings.  If your child is being played that amount, then the manager is meeting the requirements of the league whether you like it or not.  If your child is NOT being played that much, the manager is obligated by the RULES to make it up or be suspended.

     

    You obviously want your kid to have fun and play.  So does everybody else.  But more than likely, your kid isn't the one complaining.  He might be disappointed, but not so bad he's angry or wants to quit.  That's normally the case.  The parents are usually the ones that have problems.  Kids usually go with the flow. 

     

    My suggestion to you, if you're interested at all, is to bake some cookies for the coach, take it to him and say "Little Johnny isn't really playing that much.  What areas does he need extra work on to help him get some more playing time?"  And then LISTEN.

     

    Be positive, because the team will win or lose despite your attitude.  But your attitude can destroy the experience for your child more than sitting on the bench ever will.

  • TG. Legend 954 posts since
    Jul 25, 2007
    Currently Being Moderated
    14. Apr 2, 2010 9:15 AM (in response to IZGLER)
    Re: Daddy Ball - Coaching Your Own Kids' Teams

    "Parents like you guys are what takes the fun out of baseball."

     

    My comments were directed at baseball starting at nine years old. I never took the fun out of baseball for any kid except one kid whose mother kept telling him he wasn't having a good time instead of telling him to practice hard. Other than him every kid I had in fifty plus seasons of coaching baseball and basketball improved and earned reasonable playing time. That one kid was the only one who "earned" minimum playing time.

     

    "And to the guy that hits the 500 balls away from practice, you watch and see if your kid dont quit and despite you for being so hard on him/her."

     

    It's what he wanted because he has a passion for the game. In whatever sport when the going got tough I told him he had the choice of pouting or doing something on his own to fix the situation. He's now plays on an elite showcase team as a college baseball prospect. He still works as hard. He has four days off from high school baseball for Easter weekend. He arranged optional practice for the team for every day but Easter. And Easter evening he will take BP with a teammate whose dad owns a baseball academy.

     

    "i did not pay 100.00+ for my son to sit on the bench!"

     

    Your money purchased the right to wear a uniform and minimum playing time. Everything else must be earned.

     

    "so to adress the "PITAP" You are what is known as a "FUMF"

     

    A real classy PITA! Unless you clean up your act your son will have a miserable baseball experience until he quits because he's tired of hearing you whine or you will convince him every baseball coach he ever had stunk. If you just tell him to keep pushing and practice hard and his day will come even if it's next year he'll be fine. 

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