I’ve been a runner for at least 10 years. After the first few years, my husband developed an aversion to me running. Lots of different reasons: it takes time away from the family (read: him), I do it too much, I’m obsessed with it, I injure myself. Currently, I run twice per week for a total of about 10 miles weekly and do 45 minutes on an elliptical two more days per week.
I enjoy doing 5Ks. I used to do them every few months, but my husband refuses to talk to me around the time of one until a few days when it’s over. It’s because he doesn’t agree with it/think it’s useful/doesn’t want me to and i do it anyway. That has resulted in me doing many fewer 5Ks - maybe 2 or so per year now. I want to do more, but have to hold myself back and not talk about it because the fallout at home is so unpleasant to me.
Yes, we have marriage issues. He’s not this bad or controlling on other topics but this one is a particular sticking point. I don’t want to give it up or stop doing what I like. (I’m not too bad, either. I can run a 21 minute 5K at 38.) I hate hiding this and tiptoeing around it. But you don’t even need to say that it sounds like there’s a problem with him or he’s controlling. I know that. He also goes out and does lots of stuff on his own (including many camping trips, so it’s not like he’s isolated at home and wants me to be, too.)
My sister just asked me to do a 5K with her and I’d really enjoy it. When I told him, he clammed up and has been avoiding me ever since yesterday. I guess my question is do I just go ahead and do it (now and in the future) and figure it’s his problem to deal with his emotions or preserve harmony (but create resentment)? I really don’t know how to walk this very delicate balance. I know I should feel free to do things I enjoy despite what other people think, but I hate this tension and knowing it’s going to cause a huge problem.
Anyone else been there?