I’ve not only been there, I’m there now! Except that I’m the husband who likes to run, with a spouse who doesn’t exercise at all! Opposites attract, I suppose…
If it helps, I’ve known a number of running couples that did not work out. Just sayin’, but in some ways you are lucky not to directly compete, given his personality. I think a different approach is in order.
The really sad thing about your situation is that you are really good at running. It’s not just an obsession; in your case, it’s an accomplishment. I hope that makes you feel better!
It probably boils down to the control thing. Running for the most part is an individually paced effort, and that makes you look very independent to him. Not to play amateur shrink here, but he could feel a bit threatened by you being good at something he can’t really share. Even if you were to run together, he probably could not keep up with you, and that would make matters worse from an ego standpoint.
Maybe you could involve him in some phase where he could feel indispensable to your success. Have you tried asking him to massage your legs between workouts, or maybe taking some pride in you bringing home an age group award, or soon maybe a master’s trophy? I’m wondering if he just feels left out since he probably can’t compete. If he felt like he was your trainer or coach, he’d be back in the game.
Another thing that might help, is to google up some articles on how healthy a sport running can be, how vigorous exercise affects epigenetics, weight control, heart health, etc. We only look crazy. If we thought this was as bad for us as he might be (erroneously) feeling, we would be simple exercise addicts, but we are as a whole, a happy and healthy lot, with less brain fog, depression, and a host of other maladies running keeps at bay.
Does he ever offer to take you out on camping trips? Maybe you could make a reciprocal deal to share, at least on your own part, one of his obsessions. If he prefers the alone time, making the decision to exclude you might drive the point home.
I’m going to guess that no change would be an overnight success, just as it took you years to get where you are in the sport. But there might be some way he could share this wonderful activity with you in a way that makes him feel proud and responsible, rather than possibly, intimidated by how awesome you are. Some guys can’t handle playing second fiddle, but maybe playing a different instrument in the same band is possible in your case.
I wish you both the very best, and hope you can find some middle ground.